The Quirky Cup

The Quirky Cup

Every Thanksgiving, Patrick Reusse, sports columnist for the Star Tribune, would offer up his "Turkey of the Year" award, given to the year's most egregious sports fail, usually a Minnesotan. This award went defunct in 2017 but made a brief reappearance in 2020 . 

To fill the gap I am instituting a coveted new award, The Quirky Cup, to be awarded to that person who has exhibited the most consistent quirky behavior, one prone to behaving in strange, sometimes comical but mostly harmless ways. We have more than enough celebrity awards, it's time to honor the common man.

The inaugural 2021 award will go back in time to my childhood memories and tap the robust history of quirky folk from my little home town of Lowry.

The Candidates.

The Lowry School  served grades 1-8. In the 50's, Lloyd was the principal and 7th-8th grade teacher. Every teacher had 2 grades, a staff of 4.  (That's my Lowry School math education at work.)  Lloyd had pets that he brought with him to school. Every noon, he would drive around town in his '52 Dodge with one of the pets at the steering wheel.  Quirky. He was also a target for the 8th grade yahoo boys. They apparently thought it was funny to plug the Dodge's tailpipe with a potato.  Lloyd drove it home that way, sputtering down Hedlin's Hill. Quirked.

Boo had an old Studebaker with "suicide doors", rear doors that swung opposite of a normal 4-door. He'd give kids rides. In one frightening case, taking a corner at reckless speed, the rear door popped and Johnny went rolling out into a ditch. Yikes. Boo on another instance put a railroad spike on the tracks and nearly derailed a train.Yikes. Soo Line didn't think so and sent a detective to Lowry to investigate. He also played chicken with a school bus, driving at it on the wrong side of the road. Yikes. A bit beyond Quirky.

Arnold was a world-class ditch digger. My father relied on him when the village installed city sewer and water lines to all homes within the village limits. He was also a accomplished grave digger. Perfect vertical 6' deep rectangles to receive the casket. I never heard Arnold speak - but I did hear him laugh. He liked to prank. My father was stranded on the canopy of the hardware store when the ladder somehow disappeared with Arnold walking away chuckling. Arnold would also spend hours rocking back and forth from back foot to front standing by McIver's store.  Quirky.

There was a window well about 5' deep on the south side of the bank, covered by a metal grate. Howard would drop coins through the grate on random summer days and watch laughing from across the street while kids tried to retrieve the nickels. Quirky. Big Time was the king of coin harvesting as he had a long stick handy and chewed baseball card bubble gum. A model Boy Scout. 

Doc Wright managed the Lowry town team in the mid-50's. Tubba was the batboy. They made a trip to a Benson sporting goods store to buy some bats. On the way back to Lowry, Tubba told the Doc that black bats were bad luck. He immediately turned back to Benson and swapped the black bat for a standard Louisville Slugger.  Quirky.

Before the separate cafeteria building was built, the school lunch room was in the basement. Along the ceiling above the steps leading down to the lunch room were exposed steam pipes. The temptation to tear down the steps and leap to swing on the pipe was overwhelming to some. Kenny jumped and missed, landing on his back to some ill-effect. No more pipe swinging.  Quirked.

The school bell tower room doubled as the nurses office, although there was no nurse. During a time of a flu epidemic, Big Time told the teacher he felt sick and was sent to the "Nurses Office" and told to take his temp. He held the thermometer against a steam pipe - 103°F.  “You get right home and don't come back until you have a normal temp”. Creative truancy.

There are a number of Spook stories that are NSFW - or anywhere else for that matter. Extreme quirky.

Gary would walk all over town on stilts made from 16’ 2x4's. He stood 8-10' off the ground.  How he got on/off those things is a mystery. And how he avoided breaking his neck is another. Quirky.

Courtesy of Davey. On Halloween, Bennie & I would cover the town twice. I had a Sylvester the cat costume. After the first round, we would change costumes. At Loftingmoes, Mrs Loftingmoe said: "You've been here before. You're that little fat kid that's was here before." Ha. That ended it. 

Hank operated a small grocery store in the former Farmer's & Mechanics Bank that had failed during the Great Depression. He lived there and slept in the vault. He also stashed cash in cereal boxes. Quirky.

Lee the Barber somehow managed to procure the Lowry bank president's chair for his waiting area, the bank president who committed suicide in that chair, the chair with the bullet hole. Freaky Quirky.

There was a local braggart named Mitchell, just discharged from the Great War, who claimed he was the best shot in the county. Dave set up a contest with targets against some hay bales. Unbeknownst, Dave had positioned a few sticks of dynamite behind the bulls-eye. 

Hank Applequist was a traveling salesman and every time he arrived in Lowry he invariable made a beeline to the basement to use the hardware’s toilet facilities. On one occasion he discovered the toilet covered with what turned out to be peanut butter. Dave, the mischievous prankster.

I’m sure you noticed that all these candidates are men or boys. That is a pity, but it is just a testimony to the limited knowledge of feminine wonkiness of the nominating committee. Submit your nominees for the 2022 award - of either sex. You do not have to limit yourself to Lowry. Feel free to range as far as Farwell, Starbuck or New Prairie. Contribute in the comments section!

And the 2021 Award goes to ... drum roll ...

Runner-up:  Hank the Grocer

Winner: Lee the Barber.

Copyright ©  2021  Dave Hoplin 

There is no Planet B - Postscript

The Glasgow COP26 Climate Summit is over.  Unfortunately, it met my expectations.  Expecting politicians to gather and come up with the dramatic action the warming world requires appears to be a delusion. 

The one-word change in a declaration on coal usage tells you all you need to know. "The conference ended on a sour note when delegates from China and India proposed a last-minute change to crucial text around moving away from coal, saying they would agree only to “phase-down unabated coal,” rather than “phase out.”

Some sorry outcomes.

• Climate experts state that the COP26 actions will shave 0.1°C off.  “The 1.5C goal was already on life support before Glasgow and now it’s about time to declare it dead,” Princeton University climate scientist Michael Oppenheim . “There is no plausible way to limit warming to 1.5 or even 2 [degrees] if coal is not phased out ... and as rapidly as possible, along with oil and gas,” Jon Sterman, a professor at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, 

•  The United Nations calculated that to limit warming to 1.5 degrees, countries need to cut their emissions in half by 2030. Emissions are now going up, not down, by about 14% since 2010,  United Nations climate chief Patricia Espinosa said. 

• The final agreement at COP26 did recognize the scientific reality that putting the brakes on climate change will require nations to speed efforts to cut emissions soon, rather than merely commit to far off “net zero” targets.

So the world was asking these questions of the Glasgow conference: 

1. Can nations muster the political will to deliver on the soaring rhetoric that marked the summit’s start? 
2.  Can COP26 mark the start of a “decisive” decade to turn the tide on global warming? 
3. Can the lurching progress of these annual conferences keep pace with the problem they were designed to solve?  

Grade: F or D- if you're feeling generous.

And here's a couple further depressing items end to this post. 

• Shortly upon the close of COP26, the US Government is proceeding with the largest offshore oil & gas leasing in history.
• White House negotiators and a group of senators struck a deal on a bipartisan infrastructure agreement on Thursday that slashes measures to combat climate change

We must demand more from our leaders. We are betraying our grandchildren.

Further reading:  There Is No Planet B 

Addenda: December 2021. The Build Back Better bill, containing ~$500B towards climate initiatives is dead, with a single senator blocking its passage. American leadership in the climate crisis is non-existent.   

Copyright ©  2021  Dave Hoplin 

Lies, Damned Lies & Statistics

Mark Twain, or perhaps Benjamin Disraeli, is credited with the proclamation:  "Lies, damned lies and statistics" which cleverly warns of the dangers of misinformation.  Sounds more like Twain to me. Of course, we're all aware that 79% of all statistics are false. [I jest, I hope you realize.]

Were Twain alive today, I am sure he would have something insightful to offer on "gaslighting", which is putting forth false narratives to deceive and make people doubt their own perceptions, a bright light on a topic intended to blind. It's an epidemic in our country. It's so common you likely don't realize it is operating on you.

Big tobacco wrote the book on truth denial and propaganda to block efforts to expose the hazards of smoking.  Deny, deny, deny.  Find (and pay) scientists to testify that smoking is not a health hazard.  e.g. "Cigarettes may cause lung cancer, heart disease and other health problems, but the evidence is not conclusive."  Over time big tobacco gradually confessed there might be a case for smoking causing cancer but new “low tar” products and then vaping, mitigate the hazards.  It’s a pattern that other industries have copied over and over, depending on the power of a repeated lie until it becomes truth in peoples' minds. 

And so, from climate change deniers we get, "Scientists of course are in disagreement about whether this is happening and whether humans have a role.”

The old style gas lighters wanted to establish a level of doubt in your mind. But the new-form gaslighting wants you to believe fantastical conspiracies - and demonizes anyone who dares call them out as false. So anti-vaxers - politicians and radio talk hosts in particular - claim that the pandemic is fake, or Bill Gates is putting nanobots in each dose, or that the jab is the Biblical “mark of the beast”.  And this malarkey get accepted by millions of people. It beggars belief.

Social media makes these disinformation efforts even easier and more troubling, as we the people propagate false statements, intentionally or ignorantly, through our comments, likes and shares. A recent 60 Minutes segment interviewed a Facebook whistle-blower Frances Haugen, who revealed internal documents showing that Facebook's algorithms encouraged hateful and angry interchanges.  Hate attracts more engagement and hence more ad revenue than the professed defense of family values stance. Facebook's motto is "Move fast and break things".  Comforting business model, eh?

In response to the whistleblower claims, Zuckerberg in his best Spock impersonation stated:“the argument that we deliberately push content that makes people angry for profit is deeply illogical.” Except that it's not. If the goal is to maximize Facebook's profit, accomplished by increased engagement by more people, making people angry is deeply logical.  Hate is stronger than love as Steve Bannon famously advised. Hate and anger equals more posts, more outrageous comments, more likes, more shares, more ad money.

Americans used to hold to the "common good". But these days, the common good is pretty uncommon, relegated to the dusty confines of philosophy classes.  A good read on the subject - the Constitution - has a great outline for achieving the common good.

"We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America."

Importantly, the first 3 words of our Constitution’s Preamble are "We the People". Not we the government, not we the states, not we the political parties, not we the Facebook. We the people. We are responsible for assuring the rights of all are respected, regardless of race, color or creed, and that truth wins out. Our nation needs to remember how it felt to work toward a common - meaning for everyone - good.  We need to stop shouting, start thinking and look for common ground, common good.

We could start by adopting a commitment to truth and a touch of civility.

Copyright ©  2021  Dave Hoplin 

World Series Blues

I have been a baseball fan since I was 6 years old.  I remember when the baseball playoff was called The World Series, featuring the pennant winner from the American & National Leagues - win it all or go home. I remember Don Larsen's perfect game. I remember Bill Mazeroski's walk-off 7th game home run. I know I have written about baseball in this blog more than most readers can handle. Apologies to the non-baseball fan. I don't understand you, but there you go. I love October baseball and it has been rare that I have missed watching a World Series game. Even this year with the cheating Astros and the chop & chant Braves I am tuned in. (I cannot tolerate that chant  - I watch with the TV on mute. I'm a better color commentator than Darling or Smoltz anyway) 

But ... I fear Major League Baseball is committing suicide. Game one, a nine inning 6-2 victory for the Braves took 4 hours 6 minutes to complete. Who can tolerate that? Not even me. I can remember double-headers that took less time than that. Atlanta used 5 pitchers, Houston 6. No pitcher worked more than 2 1/3 innings. This is today's game and I hate it. When did starting pitching become irrelevant?

In 1957, Milwaukee starting pitcher Lew Burdette won 3 games, all three complete games and shutouts in both games 5 and 7. The Milwaukee Braves topped the Yankees in 7. That was gripping.  [By the way, a complete game is when the starting pitcher pitches all nine innings, something as rare as a leadoff home run in game 1 of the World Series. Lew Burdette was the fidgetiest pitcher in history and used his fidgets to obfuscate doctoring the ball for his unhittable spitball.] 

Here are the scores and game times for those 1957 games.

Game 1: 3-1 Yankees  2:10

Game 2: 4-2 Braves 2:26

Game 3: 12-3 Yankees 3:18

Game 4: 7-5 Braves 2:31

Game 5: 1-0 Braves 2:00

Game 6: 3-2 Yankees 2:09

Game 7: 5-0 Braves 2:34

I rest my case.

Copyright ©  2021  Dave Hoplin

There Is No Planet B

Earth Held Hostage (2023)

Once again I republish. This time in frustration over the farce that is COP28, the climate conference in Dubai. The goal is for a plan to phase-out of fossil fuel. Saudi Arabia objects to any language on fossil fuel in any agreement. The UN rules say any declaration must be unanimous so any one of the 198 participating nations can blow up a deal.  God help my grandchildren.

Wake up and smell the smoke! (2022)

I'm republishing this post in the hope that you will join the chorus in an attempt to at long last induce action by the US Congress. We are at the mercy of old white guys whose only thought is power, the planet be damned. Vote them out. My grandchildren's' lives are in the balance.

I am going to violate my very good rule to avoid sports metaphors with one that probably leaves you cold, unless you live north of the 45th parallel. "Skate to the Puck" (credit: Wayne Gretsky).  It is an exception to the usual sport trope as it conveys a subtle and poignant life message.  In a hockey game "skate to the puck" says that to be successful, you must not focus on where the puck is but where it will be as the play develops. It argues against passivity. Anticipate and act, take some risks.  Don't "let the game come to you".

To belabor the metaphor, the ice we skate on is rapidly disappearing from the planet. If we continue on our do nothing course, the puck will be underwater. We are running out of time to address effects of climate change. 

I have preached on climate change often in this forum and it remains for me the most pressing issue or our time and the current passivity in our nation portends dire consequences for the planet and the next generation - my grandchildren.  99.9% of scientific studies agree that humans have caused climate change and yet Senator Manchin sits on his pot of coal and urges that we "go slow" on transitioning from fossil fuel. 50 Republican members of Congress are so afraid of being primary'd and McConnell'd, they will sit obediently quiet while the world burns. I have had it up to my gills with dithering politicians.

I imagine every generation feels theirs faces the greatest challenges and greatest hardships.  And it is hard to argue that my parents, with the Depression & WWII, dealt with much greater personal travail than my privileged life. But climate change is an existential problem, a problem without easy answers. Sitting back and hoping for someone(s) to solve this is not working. We are reaching a tipping point and the world requires some bold action. 

It is frustrating to watch the lack of urgency.  To use another sports analogy, it's like running a quarterback sneak during the 2 minute drill when you're down 2 touchdowns. (Sorry). The temptation is to collapse into helplessness and despair in the face of it. What impact can one average citizen have?  Well, we can do a lot if enough of us do a little.

1. Call/Write/Email Congress https://www.congressionalinstitute.org/contact-congress/  Do this repeatedly. Be a pest.

2. Add your voice and donations to a grassroots organization. Citizens' Climate Lobby is a good one 

3. It should not surprise you that in 2018, 89% of global CO2 emissions came from fossil fuels usage with the biggest culprit being coal burning production of electricity.  Lobbying for a carbon tax or other means to rein in the big polluters is perhaps the most important thing you can do. Draft your friends and neighbors. The policy makers need to hear  this message from a broad audience.  

4. Of course, we can all reduce our carbon footprint. Every bit helps. From simple things like keeping your tire pressure up, replacing your lightbulbs with LED's -  to more dramatic (expensive) things like replacing your furnace with a heat pump or installing solar panels or driving a hybrid. There are plenty of  'what you can do' guides out there. e.g. .https://www.nrdc.org/stories/how-you-can-stop-global-warming

5. Obviously, climate change is a global issue. China, US & Russia are the top 3 carbon emitters.  However, there are 20 international corporations responsible for 50% of carbon emissions.  Support global efforts:  The Paris Accord, Glasgow Climate Summit.  Demand global cooperation in the fight. 

6. Listen to Greta.  “The change is going to come when people are demanding change. So we can't expect everything to happen at these conferences".  (The Kyoto Protocol dates from 1997)   https://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-59022846

This is our challenge.  This is not a case where we can learn from a failure. 

Time is running out. 

In the words of Martin Luther: “Here I stand, I can do no other, so help me God.” 

Copyright ©  2021  Dave Hoplin

 

 

Mansplaining with Dave

Men. We must admit that we are frequently socially awkward and truth be told, completely clueless. Dave to the rescue. Write to me confessing your moments of confusion, consternation or insecurity and I will straighten you out.

Malcom from Welcome writes. “I can’t seem to raise my chin off my sternum. Can you recommend a specialist?

Dave says. Malcom. You have iNeck, a debilitating affliction that can be fatal, particularly when crossing a street.  I recommend a halo brace and wearing mittens 24/7.

Ole from Estherville writes. “I am trying to eat right. My evening snack is a handful of nuts - walnuts, cashews, pecans. It used to be a bowl of ice cream or a handful of Oreos. My spouse says nuts make me flatulent, so demands a diet change. But I love the nuts. What do you advise?”

Dave says. Holy moly Ole, there is absolutely no reason to give up your beloved evening protein.  Get yourself a dog. A dog will love you unconditionally and will happily accept blame for any noxious odors in the house.

Max from Effie writes. “I am a faithful church-goer and I love to sing hymns. Unfortunately I am tone deaf and people choose to avoid my pew. Do I have to lip-sync to retain my church status?”

Dave says. Here’s the facts Max. I sincerely doubt that your singing is driving people away, unless you are Lutheran, where everyone is a choir member or wannabe and sanctimonious when it comes to vocalizing. All others are blissfully unaware of their atrocious singing - or that of others. I suggest trying a Saturday night shower. Let me know how that works out.

Brent from Dent writes. “I am anticipating making a fortune as a social media influencer. I have a fake Instagram account and have accumulated 12 followers with my daily posts reviewing Minnesota’s best hootch. How can I best monetize my passion for stupor?”

Dave says. Brent. I think your spellcheck has a flaw. The word is “stupid”.

Mark from St. Paul Park writes. “I am gobsmacked when choosing a wine to bring to a party. Should I just bring flowers? Help.”

Dave says. Mark my words. No self respecting single male (since you’re going to a party, I assume you’re single) brings wine to a party - or flowers for that matter. If you are locked in to those choices, buy a $29 bottle of wine - any wine. At least that can be re-gifted by the hostess - bring flowers and you risk introducing aphids. Rather, be a party hero. A 12 pack of Leinenkugel. No more party insecurities. Maybe throw in a bag of peanuts. And, steal my book “Party Rules for Dummies”.

Winona from Mahnomen writes. “Dave. I know you generally provide your sage advice to men. I am woman and I wish to understand the mind of man. My experience leads me to believe it it is mainly empty. Do you have any counter-examples?”

Dave says. Winona. I don’t normally field queries from deep thinkers so I am at a loss. I suggest you read my “Deep Thoughts” post, a feeble attempt at addressing intellectual topics. But, to answer you inquiry, I think a good rule of thumb would be to trust your experiences.

Terry from Terrace writes. “I am a terrible conversationalist.  I just can’t do small talk and most people don’t know squat about World of Warcraft, so what is there to talk about?”

Dave says. Terry. Terry. You’re probably going to go blind - for multiple reasons. People with real lives find lots of things to share. Failing that, be a listener.  "Better to keep silent and be thought a fool than open your mouth to remove all doubt." (borrowed that from Abe).

Yul from Buhl writes. “I am despondent. I am but 29 and am rapidly going bald. Is there hope for me?”

Dave says. Be cool, Yul. This is a First World problem  And moreover, haven’t you noticed, bald is boho chic. Just shave the head and exude confidence. I may go there myself.

Axel and his Dog writes. “With this line of quatsch you should join me in the treehouse.”

Dave says. My dream job.  And he cocked his shining eye and said, "What’s that in the road? A head?"

Copyright ©  2021  Dave Hoplin

Frost Warning

Minnesota has a reputation as the icebox of the lower 48. It is true, we have had some epic winters through the years, but recent winters have not fit the stereotype.  When I was a kid, the snow was up to my chin every year - not so any more. (That's a joke, btw).

We had a frost warning just the other day that would have challenged the earliest ever had it happened.  Traditionally, we see a frost before the end of September and almost always by October 8.  

But our reputation comes from the dark days of deep winter, with howling winds and massive snowfall of the "blizzard(s) of the century".  Blizzard. What a great word - makes you shiver just to speak it.

Armistice Day, 1940

On November 11, 1940, the "Armistice Day Blizzard" left 49 dead in Minnesota and gales wracked Lake Superior, sinking a number of ships. The day started balmy, with people in short-sleeves and suddenly turned freezing, dropping 2 feet of snow and trapping people unprepared.  Weather forecasting was not sophisticated. in 1940 and watches and warnings non-existent.  (FYI: I don't remember this one - I wasn't around).

And here's a photo of the 1919 post blizzard scene - also before my time. 

Franco

In January 1975, we suffered  mightily.  The Vikings were playing the Steelers in New Orleans in the Super Bowl. Score 16-6.  To add to the injury, we welcomed another "storm of the century", naturally tagged the "Super Bowl Blizzard".  Barometric pressure in Duluth measured a record low 28.55".  Over 2' of snow fell with 80 mph winds, creating 20' high drifts.  In states south of us, 40-odd tornadoes wreaked havoc, the greatest winter tornado-fest in recorded US history.

In 1991, we had the "Halloween Blizzard", October 31-November 4, with consecutive days of 16" snowfall - the heavy, wet kind. I remember that vividly because we did not own a snow blower .. plus our daughter had contracted to do the winter snow shoveling for a neighbor. This turned into several family fun days. Uffda.  (This was a national event.  The film "The Perfect Storm" documents the New England impact.)  And the ice.  The freeways were left so ice-coated, it was like driving on a rutted country road for weeks. 

But the storm that is most memorable to me occurred in 1965, the "St. Paddy's Day Blizzard." On March 1st we got a foot of snow. But on March 17th, a full-fledged blizzard rolled through over 3 days, dropping a mountain of snow with 60 mph winds and frigid temps (-10°).  I was in high school in '65 and in those days schools were rarely if ever closed due to weather.  This time GHS closed for several days in a row. My father was a plumbing, heating & electrical contractor and also owned the hardware store. He could fix anything. He provided his skills to folks in much of Pope & Douglas counties.  During the blizzard and for days thereafter, roads - particularly country roads - were impassible. I remember he walked to the store and camped out for several days - taking desperate phone calls from folks with myriads of problems - pumps failing, furnaces failing, ... you get the picture. He would try to talk people through DIY fixes - the first "hotline" I can recall.  The roads were so plugged and the drifts so high, Minnesota brought in "blower" style plows from Yellowstone to try to clear the roads.  When the plows started spitting out mailboxes, the idea was abandoned. 

(Notice a trend?  The lesson may be to stay indoors for any holiday or major event between September and April.) 

Of course, winter is a beautiful time of year.

Make the best of it

Copyright ©  2021  Dave Hoplin 

Hmm

"If something is worth doing, it is worth doing poorly."  G.K. Chesterson

Hmm.  I've always believed if you are going to do something, you should do it well or not at all. But "doing it poorly" means you are doing something "worth doing", perhaps not that adeptly or proficiently, but acting rather than observing.  So go ahead, brush your teeth for 30 seconds rather than the ADA 2 minute recommendation. Or run that 15 minute mile. Just don't be bragging too much about your accomplishment.  The world needs more "doers", not more "commentators". (Yes. I recognize the irony in that statement.)

“A human being whose life is nurtured in an advantage which has accrued from the disadvantage of other human beings, and who prefers that this should remain as it is, is a human being by definition only, having much more in common with the bedbug, the tapeworm, the cancer, and the scavengers of the deep sea.”  James Agee from Let Us Now Praise Famous Men,  

Hmm. This of course has nothing to do with me and my privileged life.  It's those others, the exploiter 1% controlling 50% of the world's wealth.

Over the course of his life, Andrew Carnegie endowed 2,811 libraries and many charitable foundations as well as the internationally famous Carnegie Endowment for International Peace. He gave away almost 90% of his fortune, and wrote an article, The Gospel of Wealth, encouraging other rich people to use their money to benefit society. He also bought 7,689 organs for churches. The purpose of the latter gift was, in Carnegie's words, "To lessen the pain of the sermons."

Hmm. Not every good deed is done for altruistic reasons. There is often an ulterior motive.  Often, it is the desire for praise or the admiration of others or some kind of personal gain. Carnegie's is at least honest. (I get Carnegie's sentiment, and although a talented organist playing a Bach fugue is thrilling, I prefer choral.) Nevertheless, whatever your motivation for performing a good deed, do it.

"The great secret of doctors, known only to their wives, but still hidden from the public, is that most things get better by themselves; most things, in fact, are better in the morning."  Lewis Thomas

Hmm. And then they don't.  Don't bank on it. Most never means always and never never means never.

"One should guard against preaching to young people success in the customary form as the main aim in life. The most important motive for work in school and in life is pleasure in work, pleasure in its result, and the knowledge of the value of the result to the community.” Albert Einstein 

  

Hmm. Success is not defined by a fulsome obituary or a fat bank account. Besides, obituaries are a bastion of great fiction. Success should be measured by lives impacted.

In 1784 Benjamin Franklin wrote in a letter to his daughter saying that he was not pleased about the choice of bald eagle as the symbol of America. He wished it had not been chosen as a "representative of our country" because, he said, it is a "Bird of bad moral Character." Franklin wrote about the eagle: "Like those among Men who live by Sharping and Robbing, he is generally poor, and often very lousy." The Turkey is a much more respectable Bird, and ... a true original Native of America."

Hmm.  The majestic in flight bald eagle is a scavenger, an "opportunistic" eater, hence Franklin's "bad moral character" declaration.  But in my experience, turkeys are incredibly stupid. Have you ever been called "a turkey". It is an insult. I vote to stick with baldy.

"The only rational way of educating is to be an example. If one can't help it, a warning example. A. Einstein

Hmm. So you see, no one is really useless. You can always serve as a bad example.

Copyright ©  2021  Dave Hoplin