Wednesday, October 27, 2021

World Series Blues


I have been a baseball fan since I was 6 years old.  I remember when the baseball playoff was called The World Series, featuring the pennant winner from the American & National Leagues - win it all or go home. I remember Don Larsen's perfect game. I remember Bill Mazeroski's walk-off 7th game home run. I know I have written about baseball in this blog more than most readers can handle. Apologies to the non-baseball fan. I don't understand you, but there you go. I love October baseball and it has been rare that I have missed watching a World Series game. Even this year with the cheating Astros and the chop & chant Braves I am tuned in. (I cannot tolerate that chant  - I watch with the TV on mute. I'm a better color commentator than Darling or Smoltz anyway) 


But ... I fear Major League Baseball is committing suicide. Game one, a nine inning 6-2 victory for the Braves took 4 hours 6 minutes to complete. Who can tolerate that? Not even me. I can remember double-headers that took less time than that. Atlanta used 5 pitchers, Houston 6. No pitcher worked more than 2 1/3 innings. This is today's game and I hate it. When did starting pitching become irrelevant?

In 1957, Milwaukee starting pitcher Lew Burdette won 3 games, all three complete games and shutouts in both games 5 and 7. The Milwaukee Braves topped the Yankees in 7. That was gripping.  [By the way, a complete game is when the starting pitcher pitches all nine innings, something as rare as a leadoff home run in game 1 of the World Series. Lew Burdette was the fidgetiest pitcher in history and used his fidgets to obfuscate doctoring the ball for his unhittable spitball.] 

Here are the scores and game times for those 1957 games.



Game 1: 3-1 Yankees  2:10

Game 2: 4-2 Braves 2:26

Game 3: 12-3 Yankees 3:18

Game 4: 7-5 Braves 2:31

Game 5: 1-0 Braves 2:00

Game 6: 3-2 Yankees 2:09

Game 7: 5-0 Braves 2:34



I rest my case.


Copyright ©  2021  Dave Hoplin


Monday, October 25, 2021

There Is No Planet B

Earth Held Hostage (2023)

Once again I republish. This time in frustration over the farce that is COP28, the climate conference in Dubai. The goal is for a plan to phase-out of fossil fuel. Saudi Arabia objects to any language on fossil fuel in any agreement. The UN rules say any declaration must be unanimous so any one of the 198 participating nations can blow up a deal.  God help my grandchildren.

Wake up and smell the smoke! (2022)

I'm republishing this post in the hope that you will join the chorus in an attempt to at long last induce action by the US Congress. We are at the mercy of old white guys whose only thought is power, the planet be damned. Vote them out. My grandchildren's' lives are in the balance.




I am going to violate my very good rule to avoid sports metaphors with one that probably leaves you cold, unless you live north of the 45th parallel. "Skate to the Puck" (credit: Wayne Gretsky).  It is an exception to the usual sport trope as it conveys a subtle and poignant life message.  In a hockey game "skate to the puck" says that to be successful, you must not focus on where the puck is but where it will be as the play develops. It argues against passivity. Anticipate and act, take some risks.  Don't "let the game come to you".

To belabor the metaphor, the ice we skate on is rapidly disappearing from the planet. If we continue on our do nothing course, the puck will be underwater. We are running out of time to address effects of climate change. 

I have preached on climate change often in this forum and it remains for me the most pressing issue or our time and the current passivity in our nation portends dire consequences for the planet and the next generation - my grandchildren.  99.9% of scientific studies agree that humans have caused climate change and yet Senator Manchin sits on his pot of coal and urges that we "go slow" on transitioning from fossil fuel. 50 Republican members of Congress are so afraid of being primary'd and McConnell'd, they will sit obediently quiet while the world burns. I have had it up to my gills with dithering politicians.

I imagine every generation feels theirs faces the greatest challenges and greatest hardships.  And it is hard to argue that my parents, with the Depression & WWII, dealt with much greater personal travail than my privileged life. But climate change is an existential problem, a problem without easy answers. Sitting back and hoping for someone(s) to solve this is not working. We are reaching a tipping point and the world requires some bold action. 

It is frustrating to watch the lack of urgency.  To use another sports analogy, it's like running a quarterback sneak during the 2 minute drill when you're down 2 touchdowns. (Sorry). The temptation is to collapse into helplessness and despair in the face of it. What impact can one average citizen have?  Well, we can do a lot if enough of us do a little.

1. Call/Write/Email Congress https://www.congressionalinstitute.org/contact-congress/  Do this repeatedly. Be a pest.

2. Add your voice and donations to a grassroots organization. Citizens' Climate Lobby is a good one 

3. It should not surprise you that in 2018, 89% of global CO2 emissions came from fossil fuels usage with the biggest culprit being coal burning production of electricity.  Lobbying for a carbon tax or other means to rein in the big polluters is perhaps the most important thing you can do. Draft your friends and neighbors. The policy makers need to hear  this message from a broad audience.  

4. Of course, we can all reduce our carbon footprint. Every bit helps. From simple things like keeping your tire pressure up, replacing your lightbulbs with LED's -  to more dramatic (expensive) things like replacing your furnace with a heat pump or installing solar panels or driving a hybrid. There are plenty of  'what you can do' guides out there. e.g. .https://www.nrdc.org/stories/how-you-can-stop-global-warming

5. Obviously, climate change is a global issue. China, US & Russia are the top 3 carbon emitters.  However, there are 20 international corporations responsible for 50% of carbon emissions.  Support global efforts:  The Paris Accord, Glasgow Climate Summit.  Demand global cooperation in the fight. 

6. Listen to Greta.  “The change is going to come when people are demanding change. So we can't expect everything to happen at these conferences".  (The Kyoto Protocol dates from 1997)   https://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-59022846


This is our challenge.  This is not a case where we can learn from a failure. 
Time is running out. 
In the words of Martin Luther: “Here I stand, I can do no other, so help me God.” 


Copyright ©  2021  Dave Hoplin












 








 



Sunday, October 17, 2021

Mansplaining with Dave

Men. We must admit that we are frequently socially awkward and truth be told, completely clueless. Dave to the rescue. Write to me confessing your moments of confusion, consternation or insecurity and I will straighten you out.


Malcom from Welcome writes. “I can’t seem to raise my chin off my sternum. Can you recommend a specialist?

Dave says. Malcom. You have iNeck, a debilitating affliction that can be fatal, particularly when crossing a street.  I recommend a halo brace and wearing mittens 24/7.

Ole from Estherville writes. “I am trying to eat right. My evening snack is a handful of nuts - walnuts, cashews, pecans. It used to be a bowl of ice cream or a handful of Oreos. My spouse says nuts make me flatulent, so demands a diet change. But I love the nuts. What do you advise?”

Dave says. Holy moly Ole, there is absolutely no reason to give up your beloved evening protein.  Get yourself a dog. A dog will love you unconditionally and will happily accept blame for any noxious odors in the house.

Max from Effie writes. “I am a faithful church-goer and I love to sing hymns. Unfortunately I am tone deaf and people choose to avoid my pew. Do I have to lip-sync to retain my church status?”

Dave says. Here’s the facts Max. I sincerely doubt that your singing is driving people away, unless you are Lutheran, where everyone is a choir member or wannabe and sanctimonious when it comes to vocalizing. All others are blissfully unaware of their atrocious singing - or that of others. I suggest trying a Saturday night shower. Let me know how that works out.

Brent from Dent writes. “I am anticipating making a fortune as a social media influencer. I have a fake Instagram account and have accumulated 12 followers with my daily posts reviewing Minnesota’s best hootch. How can I best monetize my passion for stupor?”

Dave says. Brent. I think your spellcheck has a flaw. The word is “stupid”.

Mark from St. Paul Park writes. “I am gobsmacked when choosing a wine to bring to a party. Should I just bring flowers? Help.”

Dave says. Mark my words. No self respecting single male (since you’re going to a party, I assume you’re single) brings wine to a party - or flowers for that matter. If you are locked in to those choices, buy a $29 bottle of wine - any wine. At least that can be re-gifted by the hostess - bring flowers and you risk introducing aphids. Rather, be a party hero. A 12 pack of Leinenkugel. No more party insecurities. Maybe throw in a bag of peanuts. And, steal my book “Party Rules for Dummies”.

Winona from Mahnomen writes. “Dave. I know you generally provide your sage advice to men. I am woman and I wish to understand the mind of man. My experience leads me to believe it it is mainly empty. Do you have any counter-examples?”

Dave says. Winona. I don’t normally field queries from deep thinkers so I am at a loss. I suggest you read my “Deep Thoughts” post, a feeble attempt at addressing intellectual topics. But, to answer you inquiry, I think a good rule of thumb would be to trust your experiences.

Terry from Terrace writes. “I am a terrible conversationalist.  I just can’t do small talk and most people don’t know squat about World of Warcraft, so what is there to talk about?”

Dave says. Terry. Terry. You’re probably going to go blind - for multiple reasons. People with real lives find lots of things to share. Failing that, be a listener.  "Better to keep silent and be thought a fool than open your mouth to remove all doubt." (borrowed that from Abe).

Yul from Buhl writes. “I am despondent. I am but 29 and am rapidly going bald. Is there hope for me?”

Dave says. Be cool, Yul. This is a First World problem  And moreover, haven’t you noticed, bald is boho chic. Just shave the head and exude confidence. I may go there myself.

Axel and his Dog writes. “With this line of quatsch you should join me in the treehouse.”

Dave says. My dream job.  And he cocked his shining eye and said, "What’s that in the road? A head?"


Copyright ©  2021  Dave Hoplin