How to do Lutheran

Any number of writers have documented the quirks and foibles of Minnesota Lutherans.  As a life-long member of the ELC, ALC, and finally ELCA, I recognize myself in these - mostly good-hearted - ridicules.

▶︎ A rule: The jello for the church dinner must match the liturgical colors. Peas in the hotdish tend to be gaudy. Yes - hotdish, not casserole.
▶︎ Pastor: There's something wrong with this microphone. Congregation: and also with you
▶︎  Basses and tenors, please sit in the back of the bus on the ride to the lutefisk supper at Vang Lutheran.
▶︎  Catholics glorify Mary. We glorify rice.

... There's a million of em.



2017 marked the 500th anniversary of Martin Luther nailing his 95 Theses to the Wittenberg Door.  Unless you are Lutheran, that sentence probably made no sense. But be it known that masses (pardon the pun) of Lutherans made the trek to Germany to commemorate this dawn of the Reformation.

I experienced all the standard accoutrements of growing up Lutheran in a small town. Sunday School, Confirmation Classes and recitations from Luther's Small Catechism .. this is most certainly true, Wednesday night Lenten services, Christmas programs, church basement suppers ... and I attended a "Lutheran" College. So I felt I was well versed in the Lutheran thing. (see St. Pauli post)

So to my amazement, through the auspices of cousin Mark, I learned there is an actual "Lutheran Handbook" documenting in detail how to be an upright and righteous practicer of this faith. And a special "500th Anniversary" edition - The Essential Lutheran Handbook" - was produced through that august organization, Augsburg Fortress Publishing - the bulwark of church publishing that never faileth.

In addition to the standards: "How to listen to a sermon"; "How to share the peace"; "How to be a greeter"; "The seasons of the Church Year"; "Lutheran denominations"; "How to be saved by grace not works"; the entire Luther's Small Catechism ...


this new commemorative edition adds some critical elements that previous editions failed to include:


▶︎ How to avoid getting burned at the stake.
Avoid public heresy.  Like nailing theses to a door. As you know, the punishment for heresy is to be publicly burned at the stake and if you are accused you are probably doomed ... but defend yourself by citing biblical references for your attack on dogma. But consider recanting - you might be wrong. And if none of this works, request dry kindling - it burns hotter and quicker.

▶︎ What to do if you accidentally drop the bread into the common cup.
Don't panic. Receiving only one element - bread or wine - counts as full participation. Or the communion server can provide you with more bread.

▶︎ How to sing a hymn.
Assume a good posture. Keep your chin up. Hold the hymnal's spine with one hand and the other on the open page. Begin singing.  Loud-singing neighbors may or may not be in tune, so follow them cautiously. Some hymns may be difficult to understand ".. here I raise my Ebeneezer".  Use a bible or concordance to clear up uncertainties.

▶︎ How to show the world you are a Lutheran without being flashy or boring.
Lutherans tend toward humility and avoiding a spotlight. You could show your Lutheranism with a bumper sticker - "Lutherans do it with Grace" - but that probably shouldn't be the full extent of your faith expression. It's not about the words but how we live our lives. Martin says a shoemaker shows his Christianity not with crosses on the shoes but by making good shoes. And since most people consider "boring" a synonym of Lutheran, if you must err, err on the side of flashier.

▶︎ How to chose a bible translation that's right for you.
Unless you are proficient in Hebrew, Greek or Aramaic, consider a bible printed in a language you actually speak. If thou dost not maketh use of words like dost and maketh, chooseth thou a different translation. Seek an actual translation, not a paraphrase. Unless you carry your bible everywhere you go, do not use a nylon cover with zipper and pockets. They're geeky.

Who knew? Lutherans with a sense of humor.

Did you know there are 43 Lutheran colleges and universities in the USA? And 10 of them are named "Concordia".

Copyright © 2018 Dave Hoplin

I Read It In The Lowry News

Lydia Bjorklund was the Pope County Tribune's roving reporter for the Lowry area. Each week she captured the scoop on the happenings in Lowry. This trove was published in a "Lowry News" segment on p.8 of the Tribune. Any social interaction that occurred in Lowry was destined for a line or two. My aunt Ruth seethed, as every time her car arrived in Ole Hoplin's drive, it was reported in the PCT.  "Mr. & Mrs. Lynn Lundin and family and Ruth Hoplin of Minneapolis spent the weekend with their parents, the Ole Hoplins".

Some kind of radar involved it seemed. But, I believe Lydia's column was the most-read item in the paper - by Lowry-ites at least. No secrets in a small town. (see The Lowry News post).

But during my era in Lowry, there was also a tradition of printing a stand-alone "Year in Review" in a Christmas issue of the "Lowry News", a compendium of all the notable happenings in the village for that year. I think the Starbuck Times did the publishing. I have custody of a few copies of this publication, saved by a relative. The "news" included notable events in the life of a small town: births, deaths, swimming certificates earned  - all recorded for posterity. (e.g. d hoplin, intermediate swimmer certificate, 1959. Although to this day, swimming is still desperately trying to stay alive in the water).

And often a pithy saying: "A pleasant thought for the holidays - pushing yourself away from the table at the right time is a surer way of controlling weight than trying diet fads."

Here are some tidbits extracted from these classics.


Dec 1935 - 1944 briefly

1935
New elevator opens
1936
Highway 55 completed through Lowry
1937
Fire completely destroys the Lowry Roller Mill (see Lowry's Best post)
1939
Waterworks system installed. A WPA project. (see Depression Years post)
Hwy 114 constructed to Starbuck (see Lake Malmedal post)
Counterfeit bills were found in circulation
1940
Jo Moellers buys Lowry Cafe from James Robieson
Leland Thompson is the new barber (see The Barber Shop post)
Armistice Day storm leaves Lowry streets looking like canyons.
1941
Lowry bowling team had a good record
1942
Philemon Chan family have 5 sons in military service (see Lowry Area Honor Roll  and Othelia's Story  x8 posts)
1944
Hilmer Opheim bought the Lowry Meat Market and Locker.

Dec 1950

Children have a fine record in Water Safety Achievment: Jr Life Savers:  Martha Engebretson & Lorraine Heggestad

New Homes in 1950: Signer Rykhus, Phil Wagner, Oliver Bartos & Cal Smith moved into new homes in the past year.

Skating Rink: The skating rink just south of the clinic has been flooded and put into readiness by the Legion Post and the young folks are enjoying it every day. (see The Rink post)

Record Price: Oscar Smedstad, manager of the Starbuck Shipping Assn, stated that a record price was received for 2 bulls shipped to So.St. Paul. One bull, weighing 1725 lbs received 27¢ a pound for a total of $465.75.

Dec 1953

Dr. L.S. Wright of Minneapolis has opened his office for the practice of general dentistry in the clinic building in Lowry. Dr. Wright graduated from St. Olaf College in 1943 and from the Dental College of the University of Minnesota in 1947. He was discharged from the U.S. Air Force in October. (see Main Street West Side post)

Signer Rykhus home.  ...Just a little way west of town looms his home, conspicuous even with its white paint against a wide background of snow. The white rail fence around the two acres of land catches and holds the eye. Here the hatchery man lives with his wife and two sons and two daughters ranging in age from 12 years to a little baby - and three saddle horses. His stable in this age of gasoline fumes is a landmark of the countryside.

Hoplin & Nelson. With a highly attractive new 50-foot front on its Lowry store and new shelves and general beautification of the interior of the large building, the firm of Hoplin & Nelson has taken another step in its steady advance of many years and stands well out in the foreground to is wide area of customers in its varied and intricate field of benefit to humanity. (see Hoplin & Nelson and/or A Good Place to Trade posts)

Leroy Molander opened the doors of a new International Harvestor dealership.

Swenson's Superette opened. A big-little grocery store.

Dec 1959

Lowry Bank open house. "More than 600 persons attended open house in observance of the new ownership of the Lowry Bank on Saturday.  Clifford E. Mork, the bank's new president was pleased over the nice response from the people ..."

Charles Thompson, after 2 years in the army at For Devins, MA, started working at Lowry State Bank.

Pastor Fred Granstrom moved from Herndon, Kansas to Lowry to take over the Mission Covenant Church.

Chester H. Bennet was reelected Mayor of Lowry receiving 47 of 52 votes cast.

Merlin Heggestad is enjoying a 30 day leave from his Navy service.

The Dingwall twins, Bonnie & Betty are assisting at the Kalina Cafe after school hours.

Dec 1961

Pastor & Mrs. H.N. Schey were guests of honor at a farewell reception in St. Paul's Lutheran Church parlors. Pastor Schey has accepted a call to serve a two point parish in rural Madison, Minnesota. His parishioners regret his departure and their best wishes go with him

Dingwall Tire and Oil is a new business in the new building constructed on Highway 55 a short distances west of Lowry Village. It is owned and operated by Jim Dingwall.

Dec 1963

Three sons of Mr. & Mrs Harold Weisel were married in 1963. Harvey Weisel & Beverly Huntley. Roger Weisel and Marlys Westphal. Eugene Weisel & Marcia Gulbrandson.

The Vrooman Grocery and Post Office building has had its face lifted from floor to ceiling. These improvements give the buildings a distinctive look.

Dec 1964

St. Paul's Lutheran Church celebrated its 90th anniversary with a special service led by Rev. Odd Gornitzka. Pastor Allen Hagstrom, son of the congregation, preached the sermon.




Copyright © 2018 Dave Hoplin

Inventory

2017-2018 handoff °F

It's been on the nippy side for the past couple weeks here in the Northland. Whenever we get a week or longer stretch of frigid temps, it brings back vivid memories of Hoplin & Nelson hardware's "inventory week". Since the counting needed to be done by year-end, inventory was always taken during the week between Christmas & New Year's. This was an "all-hands" (plus some outside recruits) operation - and invariably coincided with the coldest week of the winter.

The next time you go into a hardware store, take a look around. There's a lot of stuff. Think about counting and recording every item in the building. I was recruited to help in this process at an early age. At age 10, I was given the job of counting the items in all the drawers and leaving a slip of paper with the total so someone could come along and record it. 76 #10 wood screws. 64 boxes of 22 long rifle shells. Six ½ x 4 nipples. 42 feet of canvas webbing. Deadly boring, but a lesson in stick-to-it-tiveness.

Hoplin & Nelson was a farm oriented hardware business. You could buy nails by the pound, a single screw or bolt if that’s what you needed - in hundreds of size/length combinations, a hog trough, a manure spreader, a vice grip, udder balm, bailing twine, a 4-10, dynamite, a Schwinn bike, a gopher trap, a P-trap, a pitchfork, a shotgun can, a can of paint - and linseed oil to stretch it, Melmac dishes, a spatula, a depression glass bowl, a Maytag ringer washer, ... and have your broken window or torn screen repaired while you waited.  Or a coffin. (see Hoplin & Nelson post)

The hardware was also home base for my father's plumbing, heating and electrical business, so the visible part of the store was only the half of it. There were 3 outside warehouses, 2 back of the store storage areas; an upstairs storage for seasonal merchandise; the basement for machinery parts (all these unheated). These spaces held as much merchandise as the store proper. The electrical shack out back had all kinds of curiosities that the electricians seemed to have some use for. The gas dock held dozens of 100 lb. tanks of propane. The main warehouses across the alley held the big stuff that took up a lot of space – conduit, soil pipe, duct work, water heaters, appliances. The lots to the north and south held the farm products – manure spreader, hay rake, hog troughs, chicken waterers and the like.  

And, then there was the dynamite shed, a tin shack behind the store with sandbagged walls and a padlocked door, holding several cases of dynamite. In those days, farmers used a lot of dynamite for blowing drainage ditches, removing rocks or tree stumps from fields – it was just part of farming. A half a dozen cases of dynamite in the middle of town wasn’t considered a serious threat to public safety.  

All this needed to be counted , recorded, priced and extended, item by item.

39 grease gun zercs @ $.15 ea = $5.85

87 2 gal Red Barn Paint pails @ $2.49 ea = $216.63

and about a million more entries ...

Once I got to high school age, I got the job of recorder with my father dictating as fast as he could. I was quick enough at math (not as quick as Martin) to do most of the cost extension calculations in my head, which saved some pain for Dave & Martin who had to do the extensions and totaling for the mountain of inventory sheets that resulted. And of course, working with my father meant "doing the warehouses". For this outside duty, I tried to squirrel away an empty Maytag washer box to sit in with my trusty clipboard, 3 sharpened pencils, fingerless gloves - and a kerosene heater to ward off the frostbite. But it was still brutal.

I hope you're still reading, because what I really wanted to get to is weather and some peoples' insistence on equating it with climate, implying that a stretch of cold temperatures proves that global warming is a hoax. This is pseudo-science at its worst and is either ignorance or deliberate deception. Weather is not climate. In fact, colder colds, hotter hots, more devastating storms, longer droughts are all indicative of a warming planet. The planet is warming, that is indisputable. It can and has been measured. You can claim that human-kind is not the cause, but annual carbon emissions into the atmosphere (measuring ~37 gigatons annually - that's giga as in billion) doesn't really seem prudent.

And a warming planet affects weather. Some truths:

• Planet warming most affects the poles - reducing ice packs. (you've seen the time-lapse glacier photos)
• Warmer air accumulates at both poles causing less ice, more water. (see next bullet)
• Darker surfaces (eg. water vs ice) absorb more heat. (Wear your black t-shirt on an August day)
• Warmer temps cause increased air pressure. (Blow up a ballon and set it in the sun)
• Higher polar pressure disrupts the jet stream and allows the cold air to move south. Normally, the jet stream traps the cold air well to the north of Northland. (see NASA photo below, normal on the right)

So the fact that the Carolina's get 5" of snow and Orlando temps are in the 40's; that 2017 saw 10 hurricanes with 3 category 5's (Harvey, Irma, Maria); that there were massive drought related fires in the far west; that 2016 had dramatically above average temperatures for the planet (+1.7°F, an enormous increase); that 2017 experienced record shattering heat-waves in the US, as well as in Europe, India and elsewhere; that coral reefs are dying; and on and on - should be an overdue wakeup call. You, dear reader, probably will not live long enough to see it significantly affect your life - unless you live on a coast or the desert southwest. But consider the world your children and grandchildren will inherit.  

There is hope. Things are happening at the state level. Even an oil-baron dominated state like Texas now gets 17% of its electrical power from wind power. Take a read: NASA's climate change assessment.  And if you want to be proactive - check out the Citizens' Climate Lobby.

Perhaps we all need to take an inventory.

Copyright © 2018 Dave Hoplin