Having Developed a Passion for Banking

Not to go all morbid on you, but how do you want your obituary to read?  It is said that some of the world's greatest fiction can be found in the obituary pages so you should write your own story -and perhaps include some fiction. Don't rely on grieving survivors to summarize your life. And obits written in the first person garner many more readers.

You can find obit templates galore, but you don’t want to pass on and leave some generic writeup that reads like ChatGPT.  This is personal. Strut your stuff. It should reflect your personality.  Pretend you’re writing to that future family genealogy buff.

My family includes several generations of morticians -> undertakers -> funeral directors but I managed to escape that destiny. I do however read every name in the Minnesota Star Tribune obituary pages every day and if someone my age as I pops up, I will read it in its entirety. So I know somewhat of which I speak.

Some guidelines.

• Spell your name right. And there is no reason to fudge your real age.
• Skip regrets. Focus on joy.
• Don't list your awards unless it's a Nobel, a Pulitzer or an Oscar. (eh, skip Oscar)
• Include some humor.  
• On reading his obituary, Mark Twain rebutted “Reports of my death are an exaggeration”.  
• Bob's shoe repair shop saved soles and heeled people.
• Express gratitude. Don’t dis anyone, living or dead.
• Include a nice photo of yourself, maybe two, your younger self and your mature self - but not holding a fish or a trophy.
• Don't include cause of death unless you believe it to be instructive to the reader - as in a bad example perhaps. (You actually won't know that cause when you're writing but you might have a premonition)
• Direct gifts be made to a charity of their choice.
• Keep it under a single newspaper vertical column. Spillover to column 2 is bad form bragging. Remember you're dead.

Here's some seeds to get you started (or not). 

• I die after a full life with a grateful heart. This is a love letter to the future. 
• I'm a lucky descendant of Irish, Dutch and Danish forbears braving the sea. 
• A plus-sized Jewish lady redneck died in El Paso. Of itself hardly news, or good news if you're the type that subscribes to the notion that anybody not named you dying in El Paso is good news.
• Having developed a passion for banking, I ..
• I was passionate about film, popular music, world history, comparative religions ...
• I enjoyed hunting, fishing and a cold beer with friends.
• I want to be remembered for kindness and generosity
• One of twelve children ...
• Saved by the love of a good woman ...
• My pearls from heaven grandchildren ...
• Jimmy: As you say, you made me what I am today. No, I mean what I was a couple of days ago. 
• I was the 11th or 12th-ranked woman in cribbage in America, and while that could be a lie, it looks great in print. 
• Gustavus Adolphus College, where I learned to read and write.
• Columbia Heights Fire Department showed me how to work together and be brave.
• The prognosis (incurable) gave me the opportunity to think, thank and remember.
• Tom Lowry is dead!
• I request six pallbearers from the Minnesota Vikings so they can let me down one last time.

Or just keep it short and sweet - and save on the expense.

<Your name>.  Born, lived, died. Loved and was loved.

Copyright © 2026  Dave Hoplin