Yet another tumultuous month here in Minnesota.
So an OpEd with ..
some things I believe important to say, some facts, some conjecture, some commentary, some wisdom (supplied by others), some opinions, some trivia, some irreverence, some satire, some whimsy, some irony, some thinly disguised anger and some sadness.
A long list. You are forgiven if you fail to touch bottom.
In Minnesota, Punxsutawney Phil’s '6 more weeks of winter' is good news. Early Spring!
Two people shorten a road. Irish proverb
Americans will bet on anything. Common Super Bowl side bets include the results of the coin toss, the length of the national anthem, and the color of Gatorade that is traditionally dumped on the winning coach. How did you do?
Bill Brown, legendary Vikings fullback. If you need 2 yards, I’ll get you 3. If you need 4 yards, I’ll get you 3.
"Congress is America’s answer to the Russian Duma, i.e., nominally important but functionally irrelevant." Scott Galloway
I'm under a lot of pressure. Old age is assumed to be accompanied by wisdom.
Avoid being your physician’s last patient of the day. Especially on Friday.
With the expiration of subsidies, health care premiums are rising on average by 26 percent and in some cases by more than 100 percent
I am bullish on measles, whooping cough and influenza. And a side bet on polio perhaps.
Prediction. TrumpRx will be yet another grift to line the Family’s pockets.
My secret to long life - verified by Gemini. "Coffee drinking (3-5 cups per day) has significant health benefits, lower risk of premature death, type 2 diabetes, Parkinson's and certain cancers. Coffee improves cognitive function, boosts metabolism, enhances physical performance." Knew it all along.
"When G. Elliott Morris of Strength in Numbers asked ChatGPT to fact-check an article for him, the chatbot couldn’t get its head around modern America. It told him there were “multiple factual impossibilities” in his article, including his statements that “the current Secretary of Defense is a former talk show host for Fox News,” “the Deputy Director of the FBI used to guest-host Sean Hannity’s show,” and “Jeanine Pirro is the U.S. District Attorney for DC.” “Since none of these statements are true,” it told Morris, “they undermine credibility unless signposted as hyperbole, fiction, or satire.”
"In tumultuous times, it is important to have a very mature leader." Gordon Gee
Papers, please. Walking around while brown is now a crime.
If you are denied the right to vote, demand a provisional ballot and receipt. It’s required by law.
I binge watch Olympics curling every 4 years and then don’t think about it at all in between.
More and more Winter Olympic events are decided by revolutions.
Those skeleton riders are completely nuts.
The Italian National Anthem is beautiful. The tune for the Star-Spangled Banner comes from an old British drinking song called "To Anacreon in Heaven," which was popular at men's social clubs in London during the 1700s.
Minneapolis is today’s Selma.
Quotas. The administration is rewarding officers for the number of arrests they make, even if those detainees are later released without charges. Wall Street Journal. What could go wrong?
“We’ll have our home again.”, “One of us, all of them.” are ICE slogans. Their origin should not surprise.
When did "F…ing” become everyone’s adjective of choice? It’s offensive.
Let's bring back "heavens to Betsy" and “fiddlesticks”.
More words to bring back: dilly-dally, dingbat, flapdoodle, hoosegow, mugwump, balderdash ...
Toni Morrison’s given name is Chloe Ardelia Wofford. Have you ever considered changing your name? I have often thought it might be wise to use a pen name for this blog. Suggestions?
Mercator projection makes Greenland appear much larger than it is. Just saying.
2023,2024,2025 were the 3 hottest years in recorded history.
“Everyone is welcome here” is now subversive.
DOGE efficiency team extracted data from the Social Security Admin and stored it on insecure servers. You probably can guess what happened. SSA may have to issue new social security numbers to everyone. I'd look into Equifax, Experian, or TransUnion if I were you.
Death by drone. There have been 39 boat strikes - and counting - killing 144 people. To be honest .. murdering.
People tell you not to make assumptions, but they can be timesavers.
Americans are angry that they are unable to get meatpacking, fruit picking, bed pan emptying jobs.
Minnesota Star Tribune sports page's most commonly reported score is “late”. Late begins at noon.
What’s legal in Texas should not be in California or Virginia? Garage logic.
The FBI has concluded that Epstein did not run a sex trafficking ring.
Oligarchs are even more depraved than we could have imagined.
The worst-of-the-worst have received pardons.
The politicization of the DOJ bodes ill now and for the future. Tit-for-tat.
“Leave the thinking to the professionals.” Karoline Leavitt
Two countries separated by a common language. e.g. First floor, IRA, trillion, wicked, public school all have different meanings in Britain and America. Brilliant.
Knock you up is another.
We have a finicky, gourmet cat that will only eat dehydrated chicken @ $65/lb.
Wall Street is not the economy. The 1% own half the stocks.
Explaining American migration trends. People leave more desirable places for less desirable places where they can afford homes.
Tariffs main role is international intimidation. Prove me wrong.
54% of US adults read below the 6th grade level.
An American who can speak 2 different languages is a suspect.
"Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” Winston Churchill.
History lesson. Evil was defeated but it did not go away.
Your story does not begin at birth .. but with those who came before you.
Can you name your great-grandparents? Do you know their story? Were they immigrants?
Minnesota must have some untapped oil reserves.
Hundreds of millions from sales of pirated Venezuelan oil tankers is sequestered in Qatar. But it was all about fentanyl.
“Kavanaugh Stops”. A single justice declares racial profiling legitimate!
ICE is buying warehouses ($38B worth) to serve as processing centers holding up to 1,500 detainees each before funneling them into 8 mega-centers that can hold up to 10,000+ detainees each. WAPO This represents violations of the 1st, 4th, 5th, 10th and 14th amendments, if anyone is paying attention.
For clarity, let’s name these Camp Auschwitz, Camp Treblinka, Camp Buchenwald, Camp Dachau, Camp Ravensbruck, Camp Bergen-Belsen, Camp East Montana ...
Many great ideas are initially thought to be stupid. Same is true of stupid ideas. Tricky to tell the difference
There are 393 million civilian firearms in the US.
One year from dismantling of USAID, a Lancet Global Health study projects that global aid cuts could lead to 9.4 million deaths by 2030. CNN (for reference - the Holocaust killed 6 million Jews)
Crypto is not money. There is no real value behind it. Its price is driven by internet vibes and a bubble awaits. And when that happens you can be confident that the government will do a bailout. (The slide is perhaps underway - Bitcoin down roughly 50% in the past 6 mo.)
The world is repudiating US positions and actions on the world stage. "We believe that from the fracture, we can build something better, stronger, more just” Mark Carney, Canadian Prime Minister, 2026 Davos.
United States officially withdrew from the World Health Organization, leaving behind $278 million in unpaid dues. US joined the organization in 1948.
Russia and China are gleeful at the prospect of the demise of NATO.
It will take decades, if we’re lucky, to undo the damage done in a single year to restore world trust and re-establish US leadership in the world.
"Yours is not a village that will crowd heaven." Unknown sage.
“We shall nobly save, or meanly lose the last, best hope of earth”. A. Lincoln
Americans check their phones 186 times per day on average.
If you or I had posted such racist garbage, we’d be out of a job in 5 minutes.
Pulling on compression socks with arthritic hands is the devil at work.
Listening to the president is like listening to Captain Queeg on the stand .. "Ahh, but the strawberries! That's - that's where I had them”
“You have the right to protest in the streets, but that does not give you the right to enter the Capitol and disrupt Congress.” Jim Jordan 2026, 5 years late
Minneapolis protesters are "terrorists". Jan 6'ers were "peaceful protesters". NYT, ABC.
We had whistles. They had guns.
The odds on the Twins winning the World Series is +10,000 for those of you who understand these things. My interpretation is slim to none. If Pablo is out it's -10,000 for the basement.
I confess I am not a huge fan of Lenten minor key music and the absence of Alleluia from my life for 40 days.
Doomsday clock now reads 85 seconds to midnight.
The scourge of aging is losing people you love. Funerals as social gatherings are not to be wished for. The thing about your grief is no one can really know it but you.
In Memoriam
Copyright © 2026 Dave Hoplin
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