Dave writes: Well Pete. I'm going to take the rosy path and give him the benefit of the doubt. It's understandable. I often neglect to keep my bank account balanced and can easily overlook those $4.5 million withdrawals.
Warren from Omaha writes: Dave, here's an exclusive insider tip. Put your excess cash into War Bonds.
Dave writes: Warren. No can do. For regular folk, excess cash is an oxymoron and I never really liked him in Wagon Train anyway.
Carl from Blue Dot writes: Are you bound for Ohio on April 8 for the viewing?
Dave writes: Carl. Who died? (Just kidding). But no, it's unlikely. I look funny in those glasses and there's no good way to get there without crossing through Indiana. Besides that's my tax week. Send me a video.
Caitlin from Iowa City writes: Dave. You're kind of late jumping on the bandwagon.
Dave writes: Ms. Clark. Deepest respects. I have always admired the finesse and passing skills of your sport in contrast to the men. I can only stomach so many clearouts, lob/dunk and charging called blocking plays. Also my daughter's a Hawkeye. Can I get an autograph?
Lion King from Orange County writes: I say you're a terrible reporter.
Dave writes: Lion. I join a large club. I do admit to struggle to find a word or a name now and then. However, it usually arrives a few minutes after I needed it. I no longer do much public speaking. But in my defense, I am approaching your age.
Kellogg from Post, TX writes: Hey Dave. I just paid 7 bucks for a box of cereal. I'm mad as H and I'm not going to take it anymore.
Dave writes: Kell. Yup, food companies are gouging, but you need to stick to a budget. Rent $1500. Car Payment: $500. Groceries: $400. Apparel: $200. Student loan: $300. Entertainment: $200. Coffee: $200. ... Some expenses you can't avoid. Others you can. Your cereal is still cheaper than that pack of cigarettes.
Brigham from Provo writes: I've heard that The Great Salt Lake will be a dry salt flats within 5 years. What can I do?
Dave writes: Brig, climate change is a big problem, an existential problem. And your best option is the old saw: think globally, act locally. Start by not irrigating a desert. The only upside I see in this is perhaps we'll see a new land speed record.
Janis from Mankato writes: How about those Mavericks?
Dave writes: CJ. I am ashamed to admit that I mocked the rename of State Teachers' College to Minnesota State. Now, National BB titles for both Men & Women! I'm thinking the Mav’s should replace the Gophers in the Big Ten. Or twelve or fourteen or however many there are these days.
Jesse from Portland writes: Hey, Dave. I've missed you out on the trails?
Dave writes: Jesse, I think I saw you whiz by the other day but the cloud of dust obscured. You need to slow down. Look for me on the 10 mph trails in a Michelin Man outfit.
Liz from the Heights writes: Try that cauliflower crust pizza. It's good.
Dave writes: Doc, I appreciate you looking out for my glucose levels. I will indulge in a veggie pizza but a veggie crust? Really? Dave writes later: Another life lesson. Don't leap to conclusions. Doctor knows best. Tried it and it's great.
Casey from the Bronx writes: You know, baseball is marvelous. Managers wear the same uniforms as the players. Back in the day there were no names or numbers on the back. In the 20’s, the Yankees put the position in the batting order on the uniform. That’s why Babe is 3 and Gehrig is 4. Nothing like those pinstripes. With the Mets I suggested removing the names from the uniforms to avoid embarrassing their families. Baseball .. (tape recorder died)
Dave writes: Casey. A Stengelese masterpiece monologue, but is there a question in there? I’m guessing you’re wondering why other sports don’t require coaches to wear the team uniform? The simple answer is: do you really want to see Andy Reid in helmet & pads or Red Auerbach in shorts or Bruce Boudreau in breezers? There’s enough violence in the world.
Charles from Alabama writes: Dave. How much March Madness do you think people can tolerate?
Dave writes: Lots. As long as they’ve got a dollar left to bet. For me, after the round of 64, on the mens' side, it becomes boring. Busted bracket.
Axel writes: Hey Dave. Pick someone else for your wisdom finale.
Dave writes: oK, but here’s one that sounds like you. Birdie with the yellow bill ... “Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. “
Copyright © 2024 Dave Hoplin
No comments:
Post a Comment