Deep Thoughts Vol. 3

Once again, with apologies to Jack Handy, I give you Volume 3.

A trip to Costco is an existential experience. You have to decide if you are going to live long enough to use all that TP.

Most bikers tend to be a callused lot.

Forgiveness is accepting the apology you will never get. [Borrowed from an otherwise unremembered sermon]

Never trust someone who is rude to wait staff.

Do you really want to own a vehicle named “Ram”?

The leather cover I use on my truck tailgate to carry my bike and protect against scratches is marketed as a “Crash Pad”. Disconcerting. 

Who is Helmut Kohl?  Me neither. Some German guy probably.

Wet feet and cotton underwear are not a match made in heaven, unless you can hop on one foot much better than I.

Guess this location. "The ambience may be bad but the company might actually be pretty good."

Try to stay astonished - in a positive sense.  It will keep you young.

Compression socks, known to me as depression socks. I have several broken fingernails from trying to get them on.

Mental acuity test. Count backwards from 100 by 7's.

How did you do?

Budgets are moral documents.

If 7 is a lucky number, why are there 7 deadly sins?

Why in the world do "awfully" and "nice" get paired?

The internet is an unreliable narrator.

Try spending a day or two bound to a wheelchair.  It will make you humble and curse stairways.

Believe it or not. I live in Minnesota and have a February tan. Pretty sure the earth is screwed. We need an exit strategy.

Bowling and tennis seem to have succumbed to pickleball.

Does anyone whistle (or hum) any more? I miss those distant echos of cheerfulness.

The James Webb Telescope is searching for life in outer space. I think ET might be purposely hiding from us.

Bad things can happen fast, but most good things happen slowly. (borrowed from somewhere)

I inherited any number of traits from my father, but arthritic hands is not one I'm thankful for.

Bashing things you hate will give you ulcers.  Focus on the good stuff.

The Great Salt Lake is expected to be dry within 5 years.  But, it's salty. It's not as if Lake Mead is drying up. Oh, wait.

Copyright ©  2024  Dave Hoplin