Ponder These Things

 

I am reading the book, The Interrogative Mood by Padgett Powell.  It is comprised solely of questions, thousands of them, one after another in seemingly random, stream of consciousness, run-on style. It's billed as a novel but I have yet to discover any plot. But it's fascinating, however I can't read more than a couple pages at a time.  It's exhausting. One person has claimed to have written an answer to each and every question.  I am skeptical.

I here offer up a random sampling of the interrogatives, roughly equivalent to one of the 164 pages of the book.  I'm pretty sure Professor Powell would not object. It might even sell him a few copies.  

“Do you know anything at all about the circumstances by which Leon Trotsky, in exile in Mexico City, happened to be assassinated with an ice ax? How many screwdrivers do you think is necessary for able-bodied normal household maintenance? Have you ever been catheterized? In your opinion, does the human brain receive a special benefit from chocolate? What does "it just goes to show you" mean? Why do 'making hay' and 'haymaker' have substantially different meanings? Can you recall eating crayons? Have you ever watched bats coming out of a wall? How the soft, friendly things keep pouring out of the brick? How they have focus and mission and you do not? How they will never need a colonoscopy and you will? What is the fastest you have ever gone in an automobile?

Have your forays into plumbing been successful? Do you have the patience for pick-up-sticks? How many people per hundred would you say are asses? Do you comprehend how more casualties on the battlefield can be said to render previous casualties on the battlefield not to have been in vain? Do you listen to classical music but feel you don't ever really advance past knowing it's better than it sounds? Do you take pills you are not precisely sure you can identify? Have you ever not been disappointed by a banana split? Do you have plans for long-term improvement or have you just about given up in that area? Do you know what culottes are? Can you handle honey without getting it on your fingers? Have you hunted ducks, and if so, did you use decoys, and if so, did the decoys seem to make the hunting unfair? Have you ever managed to pet a chicken? Do you travel in better underwear than you wear on a daily basis? Do you know the names of your great grandparents?

Have you ever participated in a cakewalk? Do you know much about plate tectonics? Has your experience with bankers been positive, in general? If you were to find an unopened stick of Juicy Fruit on the sidewalk, would you chew it? Have you ever heard the saying 'life is a sandwich of activity between two periods of bed-wetting'? Have you ever fished with Niblet corn? Do you care for Laurel & Hardy? Would you like more ballroom skills than you now have? Does having to call Ping-Pong "table tennis" strike you as an abomination? Are you disturbed by, amused by or indifferent to foul language on t-shirts and bumper stickers? Do you know what is meant by the term 'pipe dope'?"  

"Is there trouble in Paradise?”

Copyright ©  2025  Dave Hoplin

Steal This Post

I looked.  Mine is not in the list.

My blog is not popular.  Most of my posts garner from 100 to 200 hits. I don't write for the masses :-). Actually I write for my own pleasure. But I like to think my writings go to only the most discerning readers. But some posts surprise me and have readership in the thousands.  Why is that?  Thanks to Google no doubt.

But, let me speculate.

1. Titles that play well with Google get lots of accidental views, like this one perhaps, or the attempt at satire How to Hire a Programmer that fakes out hiring managers looking for tips. There's a lesson there - be careful following random links. Miss Woods Training School for Teachers of Young Children hits several search hot buttons. Minnesota Not So Nice attracts Iowa readers.

2. Mayhem, death and destruction seem to play well. Mayhem in Ben Wade Township,  Death & Destruction, The Bank , Mitmoen Revisited

3. Most anything Lowry related draws a crowd. Lowry Area Honor Roll,  Lowry's Latvian DP's, Photographic History of the Village of Lowry, The Red Brick School, The Rink, Big Time Tales, Doris the Riveter, Lowry Pioneers, Herman and Dave's Excellent Adventure, Town Team (6 posts), Melting Pot, Nicknames, Martin and Marian, Lowry to the Rescue,  

4. Pope County area posts are occasionally popular. GHS 1927: Absolute Zero, Pope County Arcana, Red River Ox Carts, KCMT. 

5.Humor and advice columns are risky as you are bound to offend someone, but sometimes it works. How to do Lutheran, Weighty Matters, Men Listen Up

6. Pictures & recipes are an easy win. Backyard Wonders, Scandinavian Delicacies. 

7. Posts about the Twin Cities score pretty well. Minnesota's Hidden Ford Plants, Nicollet Island, Minneapolis Nordeast, Bridges of Hennepin County, Diversions

8. Surprisingly, my immigrant stories are fan favorites. Johanna's Journey, My People - The Journey, The Family Name, Fageras to Brandon 1886, Immigrant Stock

9. Personal stories I love to write. Hoplin & Nelson Hardware, USSBB62, A Prairie Salt, Twinkie Factory, Workup, Brain Drain, A Life, Othelia's Story (8 posts) with companion posts Serendipity , Serendipity 2, Serendipity 3 

And of course, shameless self promotion is sometimes effective.

This post took an inordinately long time to "write" as I ended up reading most of those referenced.  Some I found passable (see above statement)

Copyright ©  2025  Dave Hoplin

Deep Thoughts Vol 9

You can stop hiccups with a pinch of sugar under the tongue. No fooling.

“Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game and dumb enough to think it's important."  Eugene McCarthy 

I’ve been accused of being sardonic. I think that’s a form of wit but that may be only half right. 

Backyard decks have replaced front porches.  The decline of neighborliness.

Tariffs are a way to extract money from the general population and give it to oligarchs via tax policy.  You know this is true.

The 'Golden Years' should really be the 'Iron Years' since we gradually rust out.

"The Pulpit, The Press and The Novel are the greatest molders of public opinion and public morals."  Frank Norris 1902.  But today, church attendance is plummeting, journalism is on the cower and few people are readers. So public opinion and morality, at the mercy of demagogues, are on the same downward trajectory.

Just finished book #8 of Caimh McDonnell's Dublin Trilogy. Now hoping to get to the Beach Boys' 20th annual farewell tour.

You might have noticed this post makes this series a triple-trilogy. I hear you saying 'enough already' but I am determined to stay one ahead Caimh. And in these times, these things practically write themselves, so there you go.

Some good coping advice for these times. "Get a colonoscopy. Forgive yourself, be nicer to people, order the good wine."  Scott Galloway  (Not so enthusiastic about the colonoscopy part)

“What I’m feeling is moral shame: To watch the loss of your nation’s honor is embarrassing and painful.”  David Brooks

The Twins lineup stands pat from 2024, except for replacements at 1st base & outfield, tho new guys are downgrades in my opinion. This is a lineup that tanked dramatically at last season end. All the other American League Central teams look improved so I see the Twins right there challenging the Sox for last.

With all the drama around Twins on/off television rights I was worried I’d be forced back to radio days for my baseball fix. Now, with Twins.tv I watch what has been so far essentially unwatchable baseball. e.g. seven overthrows of first base and counting by Twin's pitchers. Seven!

Would you believe it is 34 years since the Twins’ World Series win?  Kirby’s number.

SNAP (aka food stamps) is on the cutting board. Three-fourths of SNAP recipients live below the poverty line ($26,000/yr for a family of 3). Two-thirds are elderly, children or disabled. Families in rural America depend on SNAP more than cities. The irony is that in the communities that grow our food, many cannot afford healthy meals.

"Have you no sense of decency, sir, at long last?" Joseph Welch, at Army-McCarthy Hearings 1954

"Memory sustains man in the world of life."   Samuel David Luzzatto

I find joy when immersed in Lutheran congregational hymn singing.

I wish for you the sailor's prayer: Fair winds and a following sea.

There is no need for FEMA. That is, until there it is in your backyard.

The most highly praised books are rarely read. The fat classics almost never.

"There's nothing like eavesdropping to show you that the world outside your head is different from the world inside your head."  Thornton Wilder

I have reached the point that when I drop something, I stop and ponder whether I really need it.

If you were facing the maw of oblivion what piece of wisdom would you leave behind? 

Remember the last time you experienced frisson? What caused it?

How does discarding civil servants, veteran programs, educators, artists, scientists, students, medical researchers, doctors, food and drug safety inspectors, FEMA, Head Start, SNAP, Voice of America, PBS, AmeriCorps, immigrants, National Parks, trade relationships, universities, Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, World Health Organization, stock market, allies, NATO ... provide value to our country?

Every generation wishes a better life for their children & grandchildren. Will that promise hold? I worry for my grandchildren's future.

Read more novels. You will gain empathy, much needed in this world. And you will go to places and experience cultures you likely never otherwise would.

Back on my bike, a major concern is crossing intersections with cars turning right while looking left. Had that near-run-thing with a school bus just the other day. Now I also have to worry about eBikes on the trails whizzing past me at 30mph.

The Vietnam War ended 50 years ago, April 30, 1975.

Garage sales are great fun unless they happen to be your own.

Electrical engineering is the study of how to get the rocks to do math. Beleaguered EE student.

These new-fangled gas cans are impossible to pour from if you have arthritic hands. Time for a solar mower. My consolation is these product designers someday too will be old.

I think ice cream may be nature’s most perfect food. Perhaps augmented with apple pie.

If you had any doubt we live in unusual time, Congress redefines time: “Each day for the remainder of the first session of the 119th Congress shall not constitute a calendar day for purposes of section 202 of the National Emergencies Act with respect to a joint resolution terminating a national emergency declared by the President on February 1, 2025.”  The gambit removes the ability for any House members to use an expedited process to force a vote on repealing the tariffs.

Adding to my vocabulary. History washing.

A poll of US scientists finds 75% are considering relocating to Canada or Europe. Other countries are in recruiting mode.

Time to pony-up and help keep your favorite non-profit afloat.

Copyright ©  2025  Dave Hoplin