Biking in a Time of Cholera

I love to get on my bike and explore. I have sampled most of the Twin Cities trails and a good number of those outstate.  There is always something interesting along the way and always something new to explore.

However, in this time of plague, riding is a solo practice and it's quite easy to socially distance. The trails are crowded with walkers, but the streets are virtually empty. But, cycling is actually a social activity. Like tennis, it is much more enjoyable when done with another person.


There are many classes of cyclists. Some ride to fulfill their competitive urges, some for fresh air and exercise, some to get to work and back, ...

I have compiled a "top 10" category list that most bikers will slot into.

1. Clydesdales.  I lead with this since this is the category I best represent. (I didn't make this up myself.  You can find it defined on the web.)  Clydesdales are riders who present a substantial aerodynamic profile to headwinds which drastically limits hill climbing abilities.  I say no more.




2. Rat Pack.  This is a group of riders (they would term it a "peloton") dressed to the nines in spandex and multi-colored racing team jerseys, cruising down the road at 20-25 mph with a string of cars behind them wanting to go 50-60 mph.




3. White Beards.  I would qualify for this group if I were to grow a beard.  These are the old-guys usually dressed in a fluorescent T-shirt and baggy shorts who nearly exclusively populate trails on weekday mornings.  Not so exclusively in the age of cholera.








4.  Ponytails.  Mandatory hair style for young female riders.  I have no photos since they sail past me at unattainable speeds.

5. Homeless.  This is the poor soul who carries his entire life's possessions in a bike or a bike w trailer.  This is sad.








6. A--hole.  This guy.  This is always a guy. He's the guy who sails past you without warning yelling obscenities to get out of his way.

7. Wrong-Way Corrigan.  These are people who seem to think they are pedestrians and ride on sidewalks or against the traffic, particularly on busy streets.

8.  Historian / Documentarian.  This is the guy who rides to get photos of interesting (to him) sites, structures, people ... and then posts them on social media or in a blog post. No not me. I'm a piker when compared to the "bike every street in St. Paul" guy.


9.  Geek. a.k.a.  Obnoxious Geek.  This is the guy who has the custom-made bike, will lecture you endlessly on the proper accessories, gear ratios, seat height ...  and will regale you with stories of his epic rides until you're ready to puke.





10. Hater.  This is a guy - always a guy - who hates bike riders.  He will crowd you to the curb or ditch - I had one clip my mirror once - all the while shouting "get [expletives deleted] off the road.

Well - I can't end with that .. so


11.  Good Samaritan.  Thank the Lord for these.  When I did my over the handle-bars trick, I was rescued by a guardian angel.
...





Copyright © 2020 Dave Hoplin