You have the right to remain silent but I know you are guilty and you may actually be addicted. There is no female name that begins and ends with the letter A. Well, I'll show you. My name is Anna, Angela, Anita, Agatha, Alberta. Take that. What car did you learn to drive a stick shift on? I loved that old Buick. What's the name of the street you grew up on? What a great group of kids on Wexford! What was your first pet's name? I do so miss my Snuffy.
Did you happen to notice that these questions are strikingly similar to the common credit card or bank/brokerage login security questions?
By answering social media quizzes, you are giving away information that could be used to reset your password or expand the information that could lead to identity theft or someone opening a new account in your name. Describe where you live without saying where you live. Land of 10,000 lakes. Obscure.
And those personality quizzes? Don't even think about it.
Zuckerberg already has enough of your data to write several lurid novels with you as the protagonist. You've provided your profile, posts, photos, likes and loves, your location info - enough to form a pretty good picture of the who that is you. And, truth be known, about your friends as well. So, inevitably the recommended for you, the spam email, the political propaganda, the ads for liver spots and Depends, and on and on begin to flow. You get plugged into behavioral models that produce a targeted information/disinformation deluge. Tell me you don't delete 50 spam emails every morning.
But that's just the nuisance stuff. Identity theft lurks. You are begging to be hacked. Remember, once something is on social media, it's on social media. If you must quiz, at least provide bogus answers. And if the post contains a link that you follow, know that you expose yourself to potential virus downloads. Don't click that link unless you are confident of the destination. I don't have time to go into email attachments, but the same rules apply.
So what is all this leading up to. Well. A questionnaire, of course :-)
Marcel Proust was a French author (1871-1922) best known for his monumental 7 volume novel, "In Search of Lost Time", the most famous novel no one has ever read. It is impossible. I know because I have tried ... several times. Depending on the font you choose, the 7 volumes run to 4200 pages or so. My copy is titled "In Remembrance of Things Past" which is the earlier english title. In French, À la recherche du temps perdu. You decide which title you prefer. "In Remembrance ..." seems more hopeful.
However, this is just a lead in to the challenge. Before he was famous, Proust filled out an English language questionnaire - sort of a Victorian personality profile - actually a parlor game activity. Proust's responses remained hidden until after his death in 1924. (The document sold at auction for 102,000 € in 2003.) Over the years, cultural icons have filled out this same questionnaire, many published in Vanity Fair (heavy on the vanity) from Lauren Bacall to Allen Ginsberg to Donald Trump. If you're really into it, Vanity Fair has a website where you can enter your responses and find out what celebrity you are most like. (You have to be a subscriber I think but they've also published a Vanity Fair Questionnaire book that you can get used on Amazon for $1.75 + tax & shipping.)
And if you're a fan of James Lipton's "Inside the Actor's Studio", you can thank Marcel. The show is a takeoff on the questionnaire.
So here's the questionnaire. It's not an examined life, but I think it's pretty thought provoking. Just don't post your answers online. You might email your answers to me though. I'm kind of interested.
So here's the questionnaire. It's not an examined life, but I think it's pretty thought provoking. Just don't post your answers online. You might email your answers to me though. I'm kind of interested.
- What is your idea of perfect happiness?
- What is your greatest fear?
- What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
- What is the trait you most deplore in others?
- Which living person do you most admire?
- What is your greatest extravagance?
- What is your current state of mind?
- What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
- On what occasion do you lie?
- What do you most dislike about your appearance?
- Which living person do you most despise?
- What is the quality you most like in a man?
- What is the quality you most like in a woman?
- Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
- What or who is the greatest love of your life?
- When and where were you happiest?
- Which talent would you most like to have?
- If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
- What do you consider your greatest achievement?
- If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
- Where would you most like to live?
- What is your most treasured possession?
- What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
- What is your favorite occupation?
- What is your most marked characteristic?
- What do you most value in your friends?
- Who are your favorite writers?
- Who is your hero of fiction?
- Which historical figure do you most identify with?
- Who are your heroes in real life?
- What are your favorite names?
- What is it that you most dislike?
- What is your greatest regret?
- How would you like to die?
- What is your motto?
Bonus: Here are some people who have "done the Proust quiz" with Vanity Fair - except for Marcel.
I'm pretty sure you agree with all the cautionary info in this post, but I'm betting you still cannot resist clicking.
Here's the full set from from the VF archives organized by year. (They’ll give you a few peeks for free before asking you to subscribe. Just switch devices or delete cookies for more chances)
Or, if you prefer video: YouTube Proust Questionnaire has dozens.
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