Should Auld Acquaintance

The high school years create a bond with a diverse set of people who share four years of emotional highs and lows, memories and regrets. If lucky, a few bonds remain strong throughout a lifetime while the weak get refreshed every ten years or so at the class reunion. 

My wife and I both graduated in the same class from a smallish Minnesota high school. 103 diplomas issued. And another dozen or so who either moved during the high school years or just dropped out. Like a small town, everyone knew everyone and no secret remained so for long. We of course partitioned ourselves into clans: geeks, jocks, motor-heads, music & theater wonks, wall flowers, populars and rebels ... but the clans did not have hard boundaries.  Everyone mostly got along. In contrast, a friend tells me of his high school where every 10 years they hold 2 reunions because of two organizing cliques, each refusing to attend if the other might show up. Hence double reunions. Never escaped junior high apparently.  

But stereotypes of early reunions carry water. They are indeed fraught with tension, tending to be all about making an impression and focused on how do I measure up? It is tempting to just skip until perhaps the 20th and avoid the stress. Some go to extremes. Rent that Cadillac. Flash some cash. The ugly duckling turned swan returns for revenge. 

But at some point, maybe by the 40th, we leave the obsessing behind and attend for the joy of it.  Most of us mellow and get nicer as we age. Those who do not rarely show up at reunions, so the gatherings become a celebration. We arrive in shorts, not in a suit or long dress. Genuineness prevails, with no pretensions, no hidden agendas, no argumentative chatter - just the pleasure of nostalgia exchanges with people with the same coming of age roots as you and listening to what people now find important. Interestingly, not a lot of career talk. A lot of grandkid talk. And we pause to remember the 20+ of us who have died.

There is no escaping change, not just our dispositions but appearances. A goodly number have to identify themselves to us and we quickly supply a name tag with their grad picture so they won't waste time repeating that awkwardness. We learn the star athlete has 6 replacement parts. Some lucky person has 16 grandchildren. Few admit to having a tattoo - something I accept with silent skepticism. Two people have shot a hole-in-one. (Many have come close)  At least one has tried acupuncture. At least one has written a book. At least one writes a blog. There are more widows than widowers. And a 60 year overdue thank you to a Good Samaritan finally surfaced. Several traveled more than 500 miles to be there. Many others expressed regrets at not being able to attend.  And we all have our basket of woes which we share minimally and reluctantly and do not dwell on them. Quite remarkable. I do not think the kindness was an act.

While most live in Minnesota, others comprise a wide diaspora - 14 states + England. But, 25% live within 20 miles of the high school.

Each of our reunions have been better than the previous. I await the 75th and I expect it will be heavenly. (Our foreign student promises to join us from Vienna for it.)

Family reunions on the other hand ...

Copyright ©  2025  Dave Hoplin