Mansplaining 2025

Another post in my sporadic 'Advice for the Bewildered' series

Sandy from Saskatoon writes:

Kind of smoky down Minnesota way, eh?

Dave says:

It’s ok. We had it coming.

Dwight from Free Wheel writes:

Hey, Dave.  It's time for a new bike.  Should I jump on the e-bike bandwagon?

Dave writes: 

Here's the deal.  Ask yourself these 4 questions and if the answer is yes to any, get the e-bike.

1) Do you hate to exercise?  An e-bike gives you access to the great outdoors without any exertion.

2) Do you have artificial knees or alzheimer's? This doesn't absolutely exclude a traditional bike, but it's problematic.

3) Do you ever need to transport your bike on a vehicle? E-bike transport requires a reinforced bumper, improved suspension or a trailer with a ramp. The trailer option requires the previous stuff too, plus a 3 point hitch. No way you can lift it onto the roof.

4) Do you enjoy having traditional bike riders shouting curses at you as you sail by at 30mph on a 10mph trail? 

Let me know what you decide.

Cheryl from Downtown asks:

Hey Dave. What are you thoughts on the WNBA?

Dave says:

Last year I was in love with the skill, the creative playmaking, the amazing shooting and the pace of the WNBA game. It was great entertainment. But then. This year the play has become more akin to rugby or a street fight than basketball. They are mimicking the NBA in order to stifle the great shooters in the league and injuries are happening left and right. They are destroying a great entertainment product.  I watched one game recently where the refs at least tried to control the muggings and it was a one continuous parade to the free throw line - another fan turnoff. 

Sean from Fox River writes: 

Hey, Dave, aren’t tariffs the perfect answer to our fiscal problems? We get Mexico and China to pay down our deficit.

Dave says:

Well Sean, that’s not exactly how tariffs work. You should start keeping a graph of coffee & car prices & corn flakes over the next year and perhaps you will discover who really pays tariffs. The fact is the importer pays the tariff and then recoups by hiking retail prices.  It’s a well known fact.  Of course, facts have little relevance these days.

Ringo from Liverpool writes:

Hey, Dave. Scored your McCartney tix yet?

Dave says:

I don’t think I’m going to spring for a thousand bucks to hear an ancient rocker, and a left-handed one at that. The number of 60’s era geriatric groups reviving themselves, cavorting about on stage like the youth they are not, it’s embarrassing. But I might pay the 60’s ticket price of $5 for a Dylan concert. 

Liam from Lethbridge asks:

Hey, Dave. Did you know that your state bird, the loon, has solid bones? I think it’s the only non-hollow boned avian?  And also, why is the Canadian dollar called a ‘loonie’?

Dave says:

Well, Liam, you could have gotten the answers to these questions in a nano-second from AI in a dry, nicely formatted report. But that would not be as entertaining as this. As I’m sure you know, the Canadian dollar coin, surprise, has a loon pictured on its reverse side - hence, no mystery to the nickname. Now as to the solid bones. The solid bones add mass to the loon and allows it to dive deep in their pursuit of a fish dinner. You have perhaps seen ducks trying to dive. They end up with their bill under water and butts in the air. Too buoyant. Of course, solid bones makes it more difficult to get into the air but loons manage. They need 100 yards of lake and paddle their feet on top of the water to pick up enough speed. Watch a youtube video of a loon takeoff. Pretty cool.  And there are other solid boned avians. Most are condemned to flightlessness due to the weight of those bones - think penguins, ostrich.  You know, I’m thinking this could be a Nature episode. The loon is a beautiful bird with a beautiful song and is a marvelous state bird. The only downside is the human definition of “loony".

Will & Charlie from Rochester comment:

Hey, Dave.  Did you know once you’ve accumulated five specialists on your care team, your days are numbered?

Dave says:

Oh, oh.  What’s the number? And out of curiosity, why did you name your medical facility after a condiment?

Jackson from Parlor asks:

Hey Dave.  Do you have a tat?

Dave says:

I am an aging male of Scandinavian heritage, so no. I can see myself with a sagging, unreadable “Born to be Wild” tat with me sitting drooling in a wheel chair in the home. It's not a pleasant thought. I know people with tats and on occasion have even asked them to tell me about them. In many cases, it is something very personal and important to them. So, I certainly can appreciate a tattoo that (subtly) states a strong personal tenet or a treasured memory in a word or symbol. Full body canvas performance art is a bit over the top for me. It's kind of irreversible in'it? But que sera sera.

Fema from Florida writes:

Fires, floods, hurricanes, tsunamis, deadly heat. Is this the end of the world?

Dave says:

Very likely.

Copyright ©  2025  Dave Hoplin

The Duck Pass

 

I am betting most of you don't have a piece of geography named for you.  No Pike’s Peak, Hudson Bay, Cook Islands, Bolivia, Eiffel Tower, Hennepin Ave or Lowry. Many people claim Lake Superior was named for them but almost all of those claims are bogus. But I have actual proof - a map - unaltered - showing "Hoplin Creek" running between Stowe lake and Little Chippewa Lake and terminating at Redick Swamp and Devil's Lake, a distance of well over 2 miles. Pretty impressive, eh? 

My great-grandfather Nils Hoplin immigrated from Norway in 1879, worked on JJ Hill’s railroad and bought a small farm bordering Little Chip in1884, adding parcels over the years (see My People for Nil's Story). The farm was situated just north of Brandon off County Road 7 and south of lakes Little Chippewa, Baumbach and Devils. His son Ole and sisters inherited the farm upon Nil's death in 1927. Sisters Antoinette & Berit, known as Nettie & Bessie, lived on that farm until old age <see Brandon Farm for a deep dive into the place>. There was a 3rd sister, Nikoline, but she married the neighbor boy so maybe she lost out. And there was an older brother Peter who by rights of primogeniture should have been the sole inheritor but he was a county commissioner and hardware man and lost a race for the state legislature so he perhaps had no interest in farming. 

Ole moved from Brandon to Lowry with his new bride in 1916 and built a Swedish style home there in 1929, just before the crash (see Depression Years). After Nils’ death, Ole operated the farm remotely with the help of numerous hired hands, making frequent forays from Lowry to Brandon to plant, harvest, cut hay and do chores.  

 

Sisters left/right & unknown @ farmhouse

Mail route between barn and farmhouse

 

A gravel county road - the mail route - passed between the farmhouse and the barn so the furniture in the farm home was generally dust covered throughout the summer. The farmhouse was pretty much abandoned in the summer, except for sleeping. There was no indoor plumbing and no electricity until the REA came along in 1938. My father tells a story of rusty screens on the upstairs windows. There was a separate structure, termed the "summer kitchen" where food preparation and meals were taken.  Today all the structures are gone and there is no evidence of a road ever being there. 

Summer Kitchen
Nils & grandchildren. My father far right.

Grandfather Ole was an electrician, plumber, hardware owner, undertaker and part time farmer, but I never knew him him to be a hunter, which makes the existence of the "duck pass" a mystery. 

Little Chip and Baumbach are separated by a rather high, tree covered ridge. Baumbach, in particular seemed to attract large flights of ducks. Ole's idea was to clear that ridge of trees to encourage the ducks to fly over to Little Chip and the slaughter that awaited them as they passed over that land bridge. And when Ole put his mind to something, it generally happened. The Duck Pass was born. 

Ole proceeded to clear the timber between the lakes and made his dream a reality. I know some relatives who took advantage but I never heard of Ole ever bagging any ducks. I don't think Esther ever served duck, so ... what the heck? Maybe his dream was selling the timber. Anyway, the Duck Pass has passed into family lore. 

At some point, Uncle Lynn coaxed a chunk of that real estate away from a reluctant Ole and built a rustic cabin on that duck pass. The land has quite recovered its foliage over the years. On donated land adjoining Little Chip, Douglas County has created a lovely county park. Chippewa Park. Stop by if you're in the area. 

Copyright ©  2025  Dave Hoplin