Irreconcilable Differences

Just days before our wedding, my spouse to be received a phone call from xxxxxxx, who called to urge her to reconsider her life choice. Apparently, her betrothed was not Christian enough - or rather the wrong flavor of Christian - and warned she was destined for a life of woe. And once marriage bans have been read, of course divorce was out of the question. This lay sermon was framed as a message from God - but in my view, it was a exercise to control with decidedly unholy origins. Happily for me, she dismissed this plea. She kept this conversation from me for several years and thankfully so. No telling what I might have said or done - something quite un-Christian most likely. By the time she finally did tell me, I had matured sufficiently that I could laugh off this meddling. Curiously, a similar thing happened to my grandparents, my grandfather's family objecting to the match due to the non-Lutheran bride. They went so far as not attending the wedding, but over time Esther became beloved. 

Note: For the record, we've been married 50+ years and can still make each other laugh, although often unintentionally 

So given this happened a lifetime ago, you can see I haven't really gotten over it. In fact, I have come to hold in disdain anyone who would deem it their right to dictate the trajectory of another's life. As if by the divine right of kings, the meddler, so confident in their views that any argument in opposition is hopeless. I do not condone holding grudges because the vessel holding this acid is always harmed more than anyone on whom it is poured. (Analogy credit to Mark Twain) Nevertheless, I confess that I enjoy a bit of schadenfreude whenever humble pie gets served to these folks. (I am not proud of that but don't take it as an apology. I am not Mother Theresa.)

So why would I post this irrelevant episode now? Well, our country is clearly divided into two adversarial camps, each trying to dictate their will upon the other. And worse, demonize the other. We have lost any semblance of respect for anyone with views opposed to our own. Is there any hope for civil discourse, moderation, compromise or reconciliation - or even  … tolerance?   

Probably not.

Copyright ©  2025  Dave Hoplin