Distant Innocence: 2025

Friday, February 21, 2025

Quaking in Our Boots

We Minnesotans tend to be pretty smug about the safe, sheltered, inland surrounds we call home. Oh, we have our freezing temps, wicked blizzards and an occasional tornado, but no hurricanes, wildfires, landslides, volcanos, mudslides, floods (rarely), locusts, or earthquakes.

Oops, earthquakes.

On a July 1975 morning, I was working at Hoplin & Nelson Hardware in Lowry, Minnesota, when the floor started quivering and shelves rattling. What the heck? Alas, an earthquake, lasting several seconds, a 4.6 on the Richter Scale, which of course is peanuts compared to the 6's & 7's California experiences. (Remember, each 1 point increment in the scale represents a 10x increase in intensity). But the "Morris Quake" as it became called, was the strongest quake ever recorded in Minnesota. The epicenter of the quake was in Steven's County, near Morris, about 25 miles from Lowry. In Stevens County, plaster cracked and pictures fell off walls. In the town of Morris, two homes suffered damage to their foundations. In Lowry, the hardware store lost some depression glassware. So bravely, in the face of death, I picked up a broom. Actually, nobody died and few were injured. An A&W manager in Morris got some notoriety after the seismograph he built out of a coffee can, an erector set and a cheap pen was the only one to capture the Morris quake.

Turns out Minnesota does indeed have a fault line in it, the Great Lakes Tectonic Zone, stretching from Big Stone and Traverse Counties on the Dakota border to Duluth. but seismic activity in Minnesota is extremely rare. Only 20 moderate quakes have been documented since the Civil War. Alexandria had a 3.6 in 1919, Brandon a 3.1 in 1920.

So it seems we should expect one every 50 years or so. We're due. Pay attention to your pets. They're earthquake bellwethers.

'64 Pope County tornado

Another natural disaster might have cost me my future bride. In 1964, she was driving a tractor pulling a hayrack on County 24 with her grandfather and brother riding the rack when they were faced with with a tornado approaching Pelican Lake. Carol and Larry took cover in a culvert under the county road and Grandfather Thomas crouched underneath the hayrack. Apparently he wanted to see what would happen. The tornado's path took it across the lake and did damage to Scott’s Resort about a half-mile from where the threesome were huddled. But nobody died.

Reckless behavior seems to run in my wife’s family. Many years later Aunt Othelia - yes, that WWII Nurse Othelia - stood calmly gazing out their living room picture window of their farm home near Evansville as a tornado rippped apart the grove next to the house.

So there you have it, both my future bride and I facing down near death experiences.

Well, that might be slight hyperbole.

Be careful out there.

Friday, February 14, 2025

Old Friends

Old friends,

Memory brushes the same yearsSilently sharing the same fears

Paul Simon

One of the difficult parts of growing old is .. you lose friends, leaving the memories. I lost my good childhood friend Davey Chan in 2022. He was a gentle soul. I miss him and still think of him often and remind myself of the endless stories he could spin. Author Philip Pullman wrote, “After nourishment, shelter, and companionship, stories are the thing we need most in the world.”

As adults we did not live near each other but he read this blog and would email his comments. (One of my posts was ghost written by him Big Time Tales) Plus, we shared a love of baseball so naturally we became email pen pals, sitting on virtual Cheers stools.

His one post in no way exhausted his story bank. So this is in tribute to the great story teller.

Dave , this is your old buddy Davy Chan. Big Time. Been reading your stories on Lowry. Pretty darn accurate.

Dave, do you remember Lloyd Quist, the 6th, 7th and 8th grade teacher and principal? He had his pets. He had a 1952 green Dodge car and at noon hour he would drive around Lowry holding the pets. Looked like he was letting his pets drive his car. I was in 4th or 5th grade this happened almost every day. One day some of the kids plugged up his exhaust pipe with a potato when he left to go home. You cannot believe what it sounded like it was missing sputtering and making all kinds of noise. But he drove it to where ever he lived.

Dave, do you remember Boo Johnson? His dad was a herdsman for Doc McIver across from Smizek’s farm. Anyway they had an old Studebaker with suicide doors in the back. The doors had the hinges in the back of the door so they opened front to back - dangerous. Boo was always driving around. We would do any thing to go for a ride. I suppose he was about 15. One day he was giving some of us a ride. I was in the front and 2 of the Logan kids were in the back . He always drove recklessly fast and we went around a corner fast and one of the back doors on the ditch side opens up and one of the Logan kids went rolling down in the ditch. Big laugh but he could have easily gotten killed. The last time I rode with him there was me and Johnny Logan. It was at night and he played chicken with a school bus. Drove right at it on the wrong side of the road. I got so scared thinking he wasn’t going to turn off. That was about 30 feet from death’s door - the last ride for me. He also put a spike on the railroad tracks. Almost derailed a freight train at the crossing in Lowry. Soo Line sent a railroad detective to find out who did it. He confessed but I never found out what penalty he got .. wasn’t long after that he left town.

When Hayenga boys - Jerry, Tubba and Roger moved to Lowry they brought rubber guns to town. They were a Buntline Special shaped gun made out of wood that shot strips of rubber made from inner tubes. You cut out a rubber strip about 1 half to 3 quarter in wide , and the width of InnerTube and you tied 2 to 4 knots in them. The more knots you tied the more power you had and the farther you could shoot. It would go about 20 feet but if you tied too many knots they would not stretch on the gun and break. Awful tough on the fingers but we were always trying to get the max out of them. We would go up to the Lumber Yard and look for scrapes of 1x6 pine boards. Either good old BIll Thompson or Gust Hanzlic would saw them out for us kids. We would have the gun pattern drawn out on a 1x6. They must have sawed about every kid’s gun that played RubberGuns. We did that every summer. Almost every kid in town played, young and old prob 7 to 16 years old. We almost always played in Bud Molanders Equipment combines and so forth good hiding spots we would choose up sides. Even amount of kids on a side. When you got shot you were done. The team with someone left won. We played all summer long almost every day.

In the evening us guys would play a game on bikes called Ditch. This was a individual game every one for himself. Each guy would take off and drive his bike when you saw another guy you would try and catch him. You had to get within one bike length and overlap his rear wheel to make a capture. The last guy not captured won the game. But it was a dangerous game to play in the dark. You rode through yards and all over trying to get away. You had to watch for clothes lines. One time Gary Thompson hit a clothes line and it took him right off the bike. Lucky he did not get hurt.. too bad.

Lowry also had a Pee Wee Midget and Junior Legion Baseball Team for the kids in town and kids from the farms in the area. We guys had lots to do in the summer time. Four or five of us figured out different ball games to play like 500. A hitter would hit fungoes to a group of fielders who would fight to catch the ball -100 pts for catching a fly ball, 50 pts for on the first bounce and 25 for a grounder. First one to 500 got to be the hitter for the next round. Hoppy and Big Time would spend a lot of time trying to perfect our curve ball.

One Morning after Halloween there was a clanging noise heard in town coming from the water tower. Someone hung a life size dummy from the top of the water tower hanging down about half way down so when the wind blew you could hear it hitting the tower. Chester Bennett, then Mayor, suspected who did it. Gary Thompson was always doing something to get into trouble.

Dave, do you remember when Lowry had a gang. Called themselves Midnight Raiders. They wore IH implement straw hats from Bud Molander's and red bandanas. I was to young to be in the gang, had to be age of Tuba, Jerry Zavadil or GaryThompson. I remember when Jimmy Smith and John Femrite were sleeping in a tent at Smiths and Tuba and Jerry Zavadil and Rodney Stivland threw a whole pack of Black Cat Firecrackers in the tent. Did they fly out of there. Cal came out and chased them. Anyway they all got away because it was dark. Tuba said Rodney got so scarred he ran all the way home, about 2 miles .

Dave, my uncle Fred drove a supply truck in WWII. They hauled supplies into Burma. Fred always said over the Hump into Burma. They called themselves The Red Ball Express. My other uncle Oliver I always heard was a supply sergeant. He sent home so much war memorabilia. Did I ever take you up to my Grandma Chan’s above the bar and show you all the atuff ! Had a big display case. He sent home a whole German SS uniform. Black StormTrooper Boots and all. Stuff looked like it never was worn. 2 beautiful sabers in the scabbards. Rations that the Germans ate. Must have had at least 35 different German knives and daggers they carried. Had every thing imaginable. Even sent home a brand new MI Carbine Rifle plus 1500 rounds of ammo! Sent home 2 brand new Italian 6 mm Rifles that still had Grease in the barrels - never been fired. I use to sneak the MI out and take it out by Horse Lake in the Dump Ground .I eventually shot up all the Ammo. There was even a dummy grenade and a 45 automatic pistol. I use to live up there admiring all those treasures. I asked uncle Vic if he ever killed anyone but he would not say. Clarence and Phil never would talk about it either. My Dad stayed home and ran the bar. He never passed his physical, was almost blind in one eye.

Note: 5 Chan brothers served in the army during WWII.

Dave, my wife passed so it's just me and my Golden Retriever Sadie. In my last email I left part of my story out. About the Christmas lights Bennie and I use to try shoot them out with a 22 rifle . Never could hit any in the dark. And, oh yes, if you were from Lowry you were a Leghorn. Dave. couldn't believe it, but Chuck Thompson actually hit a home run. He played first base. Lowry even played Willmar but got smoked bad . You remember Myrtle Benesh? She always kept score of the game in a score book. I use to go to a game once in a while with them. She never missed a game because she was score keeper. We went to either Melrose or Freeport when Lowry was playing one of them in a night game. Frank and Myrtle were my great uncle and aunt. Frank use to chew Copenhagen Snuff. They drove a 1949 old gray Dodge. Frank had a coffee can between them in the front seat and he would spit in the can. Nearly made me throw up. Yes That was the good old days

Dave I think the school janitor was Carl Anderson. He lived in the big White House on the corner across from Iver Femrite's. After him it was Arnold Rundgren. Dave, if you got a chance to work in cafeteria, you got your lunch paid for for the week When you went down to the lunchroom in the basement there was a pipe that was in the ceiling about a foot down. Every guy that came down the steps fast would try to swing on the pipe. Kenny Hagen missed it and landed on his back and head. After that no more pipe swinging. The room where the bell was was the sick room. If you got sick teacher would take you in there and take your temp. When Asiatic flu came everybody was getting it. I told teacher I was sick she took me into bell room and took my temp. She left for a few min. I took thermometer and put it on the radiator. When she came back my temp was 103 sent me right home. Dave, do you remember how certain kids would bail out of the swings into a snowbank-dangerous. When I was in second grade, Miss Rollofson from Barrett would have you line up in front of door after recess. I came running up to line up put my hand through the glass on the door - 16 stitches almost lost use of right hand. Lucky, could see tendons in arm.

Dave, do you remember when you walked on the sidewalk on the south side of the bank. There was a steel grate over a window well that allowed light into the bank basement. It was about 5 feet deep. I would check this 2 or 3 times a day. Half of the time there was money on the bottom. I would go home and get a long stick and I’d chew a piece of bubble gum to put on the end of the stick and I’d fish out the money - sometimes up to 50 cents I’d get out. To this day I think Howard Lysen would throw money in there because their store was across the street He would like watching kids trying to get it out.

I have lots of stories just have to remember them Dave.

Big Time

1962 Find him.

Monday, February 3, 2025

Deep Thoughts Vol 7

Like a good Quaker, know the value of silence.

Being alive is bad for your health.

It’s good to get out of the house daily. We are usually able to do that just with clinic visits.

I walk or bike ride with a friend once a week. He is unfailingly upbeat and positive. That's good for me but it's baffling.

As I age, I find the days are long but the weeks are short.

Remember, everything speeds up when it's going downhill.

Blood thinner meds are both life saving and life threatening.

I learned a new word recently, two actually. Epistaxis & RhinoRocket.

What’s the deal pulling 70+ year old former football coaches out of retirement for choice head coaching jobs? Give the next generation a chance. Same for politics.

Total LA rainfall from May - Dec 2024: 0.16” (note the decimal point)

Polar Vortex in action. Simultaneously, California on fire and heavy snow in the Deep South. Colder colds. Hotter hots. Wetter wets. Dryer dries. Stormier storms. Wilder wildfires. Your future.

I suspect Minnesota Nice will in the not too distant future be tested by an influx of climate refugees.

Archeologists are reaching consensus that the end of the Bronze Age was due to extended drought due to climate change. 1177 B.C.

The lights are out at WaPo.

The Iceman Cometh. Eugene O'Neill

When I ask what can I do, I am told "we do what's possible". Pretty limiting.

Terunofuji, the 73rd yokozuna, has announced his retirement as an active rikishi.

I'm quite certain you don't understand tariffs. Here's a short course. 1) An importer (US company) purchases a product, e.g maple syrup, fruits and vegetables, automobiles, electronics etc... and then pays a duty, 25% of the cost or whatever to the US Govt 2) The importer then raises the retail price of the product to cover the tax 3) Consumer (you) pay the extra cost.

e.g a product that costs $10 and sells for $20 now costs $12.50 and sells for $25. Any questions?

Elon Musk's every action is designed to further his own interests and ego.

e.g. Musk Foundation .. According to recent reports, the Musk Foundation typically grants around $100 million annually, with most of the funding directed towards a small number of organizations closely tied to Elon Musk's interests, often falling short of the required donation amount based on IRS guidelines

Donate to the Carter Center and Habitat for Humanity. They do good stuff. Eradicating diseases, building affordable homes.

The CDC, NIH, HHS, FDA represent the best and most valuable of government services. Millions of lives have been saved.

The postal service is exactly that, a service, not a business. It doesn’t lose money, it has a cost of service. Compare to the $800B in losses our military sustains each year.

Pity the nation that knows no other language but its own and no other culture but its own. Lawrence Ferlinghetti

Pundits that confidently predict the future are ... well, you know ... add an earthy phrase.

Football has personal fouls. Baseball has the sacrifice. George Carlin

The game of life is hard, and a lot of us are playing hurt. Anne Lamott

I fear United States as a beacon of freedom and opportunity is largely behind us.

Freedom fighters don’t always win, but they are always right. Molly Ivins

From now on, in order not to offend, all my jokes shall feature Ole the Hittite.

I deny I said all those things that I said.

More and more people don't consider themselves angry, just right - and then indignant when challenged.

Someone please explain to me how Christian values and Donald Trump are connected.

Christians who side with hate and cruelty read a different Bible than I.

Oh, Canada. God keep your land glorious and free!

ol·i·gar·chy Look it up.

Friday, January 24, 2025

Irreconcilable Differences

Just days before our wedding, my spouse to be received a phone call from xxxxxxx, who called to urge her to reconsider her life choice. Apparently, her betrothed was not Christian enough - or rather the wrong flavor of Christian - and warned she was destined for a life of woe. And once marriage bans have been read, of course divorce was out of the question. This lay sermon was framed as a message from God - but in my view, it was a exercise to control with decidedly unholy origins. Happily for me, she dismissed this plea. She kept this conversation from me for several years and thankfully so. No telling what I might have said or done - something quite un-Christian most likely. By the time she finally did tell me, I had matured sufficiently that I could laugh off this meddling. Curiously, a similar thing happened to my grandparents, my grandfather's family objecting to the match due to the non-Lutheran bride. They went so far as not attending the wedding, but over time Esther became beloved.

Note: For the record, we've been married 50+ years and can still make each other laugh, although often unintentionally

So given this happened a lifetime ago, you can see I haven't really gotten over it. In fact, I have come to hold in disdain anyone who would deem it their right to dictate the trajectory of another's life. As if by the divine right of kings, the meddler, so confident in their views that any argument in opposition is hopeless. I do not condone holding grudges because the vessel holding this acid is always harmed more than anyone on whom it is poured. (Analogy credit to Mark Twain) Nevertheless, I confess that I enjoy a bit of schadenfreude whenever humble pie gets served to these folks. (I am not proud of that but don't take it as an apology. I am not Mother Theresa.)

So why would I post this irrelevant episode now? Well, our country is clearly divided into two adversarial camps, each trying to dictate their will upon the other. And worse, demonize the other. We have lost any semblance of respect for anyone with views opposed to our own. Is there any hope for civil discourse, moderation, compromise or reconciliation - or even … tolerance?

Probably not.

Tuesday, January 7, 2025

Deep Thoughts Vol 6

I got a million of 'em. Dave

When did it get this difficult to get up off the floor?

I would really appreciate more kindness in this world.

Wisdom of the goose. By flying in a V, the flock adds 70% to the flying range to that of a solo flight. Working together trumps solo flight.

A man is cold-bloodedly assassinated on the streets of New York and people are laughing and celebrating. I weep.

You are perfectly entitled to prevent your child from reading something you disapprove of but you have no right to extend that ban to me.

Bob Dylan's son is 55.

And .. Three thumbs up for A Complete Unknown.

Soto gets $765 million from the Mets. Unbelievable. I remember shock when Harmon Killebrew pulled in $100,000 from the skinflint Calvin Griffith.

I propose a ban on the use of word “unbelievable” on all sports commentators.

Just to be clear, seeking asylum has nothing to do with mental institutions.

When immigrants boarded ships bound for the USA back in their home countries, they were asked 31 questions, including name, age, health history, whether they were polygamists or anarchists, and whether or not they had at least $25.

For a (barely) passing grade in US history you should not require Google for help on these dates:

1. Jul 4,1776

2. Apr 14,1865

3. Dec 7,1941

4. Jun 6,1944

5. Nov 22,1963

6. Sep 11,2001

7. Jan 6, 2021

When your father dies, you lose your umbrella. Irish proverb

The past is not dead. It is not even past . William Faulkner

History is a pack of lies about events that never happened told by people who weren't there. George Santayana

Why couldn't life’s problems hit us at 17 when we knew everything.

Getting older is almost like changing species, from cute middle-aged, white-tailed deer to yak. Anne Lamont

I am rapidly approaching the third stage species change - Warthog.

If any one of you cry at my funeral, I will never speak to you again. Stan Laurel

By 2040, as few as 10 countries will have enough snow to host the Winter Olympics.

Are you old enough to understand this road sign? "Ensure your windows are rolled up before traveling this bridge". - - - - Storseisundet Bridge, Norway

“Joe, how does it make you feel
to know that our host only yesterday
may have made more money
than your novel ‘Catch-22’
has earned in its entire history?”
And Joe said, “I’ve got something he can never have.”
And I said, “What on earth could that be, Joe?”
And Joe said, “The knowledge that I’ve got enough.” Kurt Vonnegut

Just a little bit more. John D. Rockefeller's response to "How much is enough?"

It would be nice if the billionaires would just stick to their obscene money-grubbing and leave me alone.

Facebook is eliminating 3rd party fact checking in favor of “community notes”. All in the name of free speech. Billionaires are really cowards underneath their bluster.

Character is destiny. Heraclitus

Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are likely correct.

I wish I knew what I know now back when I could still do it.

Isn’t an invite to the Mayonnaise Bowl kind of an insult to start with and then they compound it with an end-of-game bath in the stuff?

You cannot convince me that the incredible increase in the size, speed, strength and muscle mass of NFL players can be explained solely by improved diet and training regimens.

Or college and high schools for that matter.

Pushing a drink on a person who doesn’t want one is ill-mannered in the extreme.

I've given up trying to fix people - and that includes myself.

It is solved by walking. St. Augustine

Anything worth doing is worth doing badly. G.K. Chesterton

This quote seems a paradox, but the idea is, if something is worth doing, you should make an attempt even if it results in a botched effort. [Some exceptions - maybe not brain surgery]

One always tends to overpraise a long book, because one has got through it. E.M. Forster

Read Jacques Barzun's 'From Dawn to Decadence'. It's quite wonderful. 912 p

I am so relieved. Angelina and Brad have finally reached a divorce settlement.

The percentage of young men aged 20 to 24 who are neither in school nor working has tripled since 1980.

When I think back on how rarely I thought of my grandparents in my youth versus how often I now think of my grandchildren, it’s kind of embarrassing.

There is no need to repeal the First Amendment. The self censorship by the Fourth Estate is working perfectly. Lord, protect us from spineless editors. TBW

kak·i·sto·cra·cy Look it up.

I’m pretty sure I have more fun writing these than you do reading them.

Wednesday, January 1, 2025

Best of 2024

Once again I offer up one of my sporadic "Best of" lists, joining the countless end-of-year others inundating you. Take it for what it's worth. Perhaps you will discover an unfamiliar author or title that piques your interest. Then this is worthwhile.

Happy New Year all.