Hold That Line

 

"Convinced that the safety of otheir families and the health of their land was disregarded in favor of the gluttonous energy consumption of cities, the farmer-led revolt began as questioning and escalated to rampant civil disobedience, peaking in 1978 when nearly half of Minnesota’s state highway patrol was engaged in stopping sabotage of the project."  

Powerline-“The first battle of Americas energy war by Paul Wellstone & Berry Caspers. Carlton College professors, 

In the late 1970's, Lowry Minnesota, my home town, was the epicenter of the country's first energy protest. The electrical co-ops, United Power Associates (UPA) & Cooperative Power Association (CPA) obtained permits to construct a high-voltage power line across 430 miles of farmland from the Coal Creek Station near Underwood, North Dakota, conveniently built next to a lignite mine, through Central Minnesota to the Dickinson Station in Wright County near the Twin Cities. That the protest was about the hazards of coal burning power plants might be a bit of hyperbole - this was the 1970's after all.  The term 'Global Warming' was first used in 1975 and did not gain traction until the late 1980's. There were of course environmental activists who were vehemently opposed to burning coal to produce electricity - and nuclear power for that matter, although the Three Mile Island disaster was still in the future. Environmentalists way ahead of their time. But the main points of grievance were farmer protests over eminent domain taking their farmland for towers, the decrease of the land value and safety concerns surrounding a high voltage line running overhead. And the fact that the beneficiaries of the power were "The Cities" amped up the anger.

Pope County is home to many small farms owned by families for a hundred years, growing mainly row crops. So you can imagine the problems faced when fields are "interrupted" by 150' high towers. In addition to the resentment over lost productive land to these towers seen as a land grab by the co-ops, there were also concerns over potential health hazards. It will cause cancer. Your cows will lose all their hair and won't reproduce. You'll be electrocuted while driving your tractor ... The fact that the State of Minnesota refused to allow the towers on state land due to concern for wildlife habitat only reinforced the protesters position.

The Minnesota Department of Natural Resources claims that the line might “affect the behavior of animals and change wildlife habitat and affect the physiological state or conditions of plants and animals." Harrumphs Farmer Art Isackson:  “I guess a skunk is worth more than a farmer."  

Inside the red brick town hall in Lowry, a hamlet of 257 in west-central Minnesota, angry farmers talk bitterly about Governor Rudy Perpich and his "invading redcoats” and vow never to give up the fight.

Time Magazine Feb 1978

So the protests began, at first following the Civil Rights example of non-violence:  sit-ins, obstruction of the building equipment, road blocks, and on a particularly windy day, driving a manure spreader past surveyors at speed. When power-company survey crews invade their fields, farmers harassed them with onrushing snowmobiles. They blocked construction machinery with pickup trucks and boulders. They shoved welding rods into the radiators of the power companies’ tractors, sprinkled sand and gravel into gas tanks. Four masked men on horseback menaced one work crew. 

Arrests followed. More than 40 farmers were arrested for vandalism and interfering with construction. The Pope County attorney resigned rather than prosecute his friends and neighbors. 

In point of fact, the cooperatives were pretty inept at explaining and defending the need for this line and quite arrogant toward the rebelling peasants. At one meeting, a co-op rep said “I don't know what you're making such a fuss about this for, it's going to go through no matter what you say”, which of course was true but it didn't improve the relationship between UPA/CPA and the farming community.

"The hated line is a 400,000-volt power transmission cable. After a two-year court fight, the line is beginning to slice a 160-ft. wide swath through the dairy and grain country.   ...  As the line’s intimidating 150-ft. tall towers (every quarter mile) march through relatively small family farms, a landowner can find his hard-won acres chopped up. The high wires also discourage pilots from doing increasingly important aerial spraying and seeding. Besides, Minnesota farmers are fully aware of the experience of people living near similar high-voltage lines elsewhere. The lines literally snap, crackle and pop, and they set up electromagnetic fields that can produce jolting, if nonlethal, shocks in anyone touching ungrounded machinery and other metallic conductors within 200 ft. 

Time Magazine Feb 1978

In 1978 I was teaching school in Hastings, but we generally spent a good deal of the summer back in Pope County. The anger was palpable. Pope County (also Grant & Stearns County) residents were pretty universally opposed to the line with the most heat of course coming from those farmers where the towers would be erected. There were a few farmers, generally those unaffected by the route, who rented out some of their land for use in the construction of the towers, being paid handsomely. This did not sit well and in some cases friendships were destroyed.  

Tensions were high. At some point, a faction of the protesters turned to sabotage. From 1978 to 1983 16 towers were toppled by cutting the legs and thousands of insulators were shot out. A $100,000 reward was offered for information leading to an arrest of tower saboteurs. Many people certainly knew or suspected who the perpetrators were but ... there were no takers.. 

I worked in Hoplin & Nelson Hardware, a traditional farm focused hardware but also - second only to Lee's Barber Shop & The Dahl House - a gathering for "discussions" about the situation. We at the hardware were in a bit of a quandary. Yes, the protesters had our sympathy but we also sold dynamite and guns and ammunition. Dynamite was used frequently by farmers to blow stumps or rocks in their fields and ditching dynamite quickly produces a nice drainage ditch when a line of dynamite sticks detonates in rolling wave. It's quite a sight. We recorded every sale - purchaser name, dynamite type and amount. Same with ammunition purchases. We made a show of doing this so the buyer would know if a tower was dynamited they could expect a visit from the authorities. As far as I know, no explosive was used to knock down a tower.

In May, 1978 a protest march was planned, covered by national media.

Governor Perpich (at the request of the Pope County sheriff) sent in over two hundred state patrolmen. On that first morning (it was a Monday morning) it was like going to work, everybody went to Lowry and that was with the national press. Everybody was there, nobody knew what was going to happen, and there had been some activity out at the construction site west of Lowry, about three miles west. There they were to build some of the towers. So everybody got in this big caravan and went out there, but what they decided to do was a big media stunt and it worked out pretty well. They took out coffee, cookies and flowers to all the state patrolmen (about 150 of those guys) and it was twenty below and the wind was blowing like crazy and everybody was just freezing his hind end off. But everybody stood out there in the cold and they handed out the coffee and the cookies and the patrolmen kind of laughed and were at ease and stuff.

George Crocker, protest organizer oral history

In 1980, Alice Tripp, a Stearns County farm wife and protest leader, ran a surprisingly successful campaign for Governor largely based on opposition to the powerline and advocacy for alternative energy plus support for the rights of women and minorities . She lost but amassed 20% of the popular vote, leading to Perpich's defeat and the election of Al Quie - and as a side effect, launching Paul Wellstone’s Senate bid. Alice ran a true grass-roots campaign - she spent but $5000 on her campaign.

Despite the efforts of Tripp, the protesters and area farmers, the CU powerline became fully operational in August of 1979. The protest activities diminished but litigation continued into the 80's. The last tower to topple was in 1983.

And a listen. The powerline spawned a protest song  - Larry Long's “Pope County Blues".

Copyright ©  2025  Dave Hoplin 

Come the Revolution

I know in your heart you believe you could do better if you ran the world. And if you can name that tune in 10 notes,  I might just agree with you. You certainly must have a list of things you would change ... come the revolution.  

Here's a starter list. Pile on. 

Add your nominations in the comments and I'll take them under consideration.

No lawn mowing or leaf blowing on Sunday morning.

Retinal scans will replace passwords universally.

e-Bikes with throttles relegated to streets.

The Heritage Foundation - you know, the Project 2025 folks - will be required to publish their voter fraud data annually and news outlets will headline the results.

Every citizen will vote. Election day will be a national holiday. The Electoral College will be disbanded.

Everyone will have access to affordable health care.

Private jet subsidies will be eliminated and owners will be charged $10 million annually for airport landing fees. Same for yachts. Port fees.

Churches will lead a compassion surge.

We will all eat strawberries and cream.

Vikings will win the Super Bowl. Twins will win the World Series.  Gophers will beat Ohio State.

Justice will roll down like waters.

Slow traffic stays right. Super-speeders and lane weavers will be jailed.

Lane splitting law will be repealed.

35E speed limit between St.Paul and the river will be 55 mph.

Rendition only meaning will refer to musical performances.

A chip in your forehead will flash when you lie.

Apple pie for breakfast will be found to deliver significant health benefits.

Book reading will once again be a popular leisure activity.

Zuckerberg will give us all sound suppressing headphones.

Crypto will collapse.

Education will include a thorough knowledge of history.

Oligarchs will pay reparations and their New Zealand redoubts will be confiscated.

School lunches will be free.

USAID will be restored and again save lives world-wide.

Anything produced with AI will have an embedded watermark indicating that fact.

USA will stand up to Putin. Ukraine will be free and independent.

Climate action will be funded and celebrated. Antarctica melt halt will be a priority.

Plastic chairs will be banned.

Vehicles will have sensors to automatically activate turn signals.

The ballroom will become a hockey arena and the donors will pay for the renovation.

Airline CEOs will have to book their own flights using their company's app and fly middle seat tourist.

Gutters will come pre-installed with leaf guards.

People will be themselves, except nicer.

Non-slip sidewalks and curbs in bright neon will be mandatory anywhere that has winter.

RFK heresies will be purged.  No, God is not an anti-vaxxer. Vaccines will again be recognized as life saving.

Minimum wage will be sufficient to support a family.

PACs will be abolished. 

Electricity will be wireless. No more cords.

Congress will once again be the country's law-making body.

Common courtesy will become common.

Charitable contributions will leap. The homeless will be housed.

The next Presidential race will match two women.

We'll take away your Rolls Royce, mate.

Copyright ©  2025  Dave Hoplin 

Crypto

One of my favorite novels is Neal Stephenson's Cryptonomicon. The book has 2 interconnected threads. The first centers on the WWII cryptanalysis efforts by the British at Bletchley Park and the American code-breakers against the Japanese.  The second is the prescient concept of modern day crypto... computer technology to build an underground data haven in the fictional Sultanate of Kinakuta, interestingly termed "The Crypt", with the goal to facilitate anonymous Internet banking using electronic money 

The read is a commitment - over 900 pages - but if you start it be prepared for trading sleep for reading. The book was published in 1999 and presages the cryptocurrency craze we see today.

While on this topic, do you understand cryptocurrency?  If so, please explain the value prop to me. Admittedly, I am a curmudgeon, but I fail to see the benefit. Does the world really need another currency and particularly one without any regulation behind it at that. Cryptocurrency is decentralized, meaning it's distributed and not controlled by one central authority.You can’t jingle bitcoins in your pocket. It is a virtual currency and the foxhole for greedy manipulators. It is a way of transferring “funds” quickly and anonymously, which plays perfectly with criminal types doing transactions on the dark web in weapons, human trafficking and other nefarious practices which I can only imagine. But if that is prevalent, perhaps we have gone astray and "regulation" should be considered. 

How does it work? A crypto transaction uses blockchain technology utilizing a network of computers (nodes). Each node independently performs some role in verifying, recording and validating the transaction. The result of a cryptocurrency transaction is "simply" an unchangeable data entry on a ledger - a blockchain. These blocks are permanent making it impossible to change the information in the completed transaction, and also impossible to trace the source.

These transactions consume enormous compute resources as each node needs to solve a "puzzle" as part of its role. This demand has led to the explosion of data centers to support it - AI as well - and is overwhelming our electrical grid. Prepare for brownouts and kerosene lamps.

In my view, this is yet another way to try to get rich without having produce anything or work too hard, a swindler's paradise that includes the Grifter in Chief. Many crypto users shun it as a transaction tool, but rather use it as as an investment vehicle, a digital bank like gold in a vault. Your digital wallet is an app (don't forget your password). So as you watch your crypto wallet fatten day by day, beware. This is reminiscent of 1929 Wall Street.  

If this all sounds pessimistic, it's because I am. What ever happened to entrepreneurs? In my career I was involved in 2 startup companies and the goal each time was to actually produce something beneficial to mankind.  How we have fallen, where threats and bribery and phantom money pass for normalcy.

Copyright ©  2025  Dave Hoplin 

Deep Thoughts Vol 10

           Another issue of my random ramblings.

NFL kickers are too good. Rotate the goal posts 45°

Someone’s sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago.” - Warren Buffett

To some we matter greatly, to most not at all. Treasure those who do.

If every state offers blackout license plates, how will I identify the getaway car?

Finance is the art of passing money from hand to hand until it finally disappears. - Robert Sarnoff

For better and worse, people who grow up in small towns get to know each other so much better than they do in cities.

No free man shall be seized or imprisoned, or stripped of his rights or possessions, or outlawed or exiled, nor will we proceed with force against him, except by the lawful judgement of his equals or by the law of the land. To no one will we sell, to no one deny or delay right or justice. - Magna Carta 1215

.. no person shall be deprived of life, liberty, or property without due process of law - 5th Amendment to the Constitution

For signs of trouble, keep an eye on the Pentagon Pizza index.  (or Apex IV usage)

AI depends on massive data centers that consume enormous amounts of electricity and water.  Apple invested $1 billion in a North Carolina data center which resulted in fewer than 100 permanent jobs. Huge infrastructure investments, environmental impacts and little economic benefit to date. And your electric bill is trending upward.

When you tip over a glass of milk at the dinner table your reach to grab it will knock over a half-dozen other things

I had many problems and disasters in my life; fortunately at my age, I don't remember what they were.  - Bel Kaufman

The point of books is to have way too many but to always feel you never have enough. - Louise Erdrich

Capitalism is the extraordinary belief that the nastiest of men, for the nastiest of reasons, will somehow work for the benefit of us all. - John Maynard Keynes

The rich should contribute to the public expense, not only in proportion to their revenue, but something more than in that proportion. - Adam Smith

I sometimes think: Wonderful children instead of hard liquor. - Louise Erdrich

The East Wing of the White House is the perfect metaphor for the state of the country.

History is not what happened, but what survives the shipwrecks of judgment and chance  - Maria Popova

For all those screaming “Socialism” at everything that helps people, why the silence over government control of US Steel / Nippon Steel? How is a 10% government interest in Intel not government confiscation?

Strategists and military planners always warn, the “enemy gets a vote.”

I’m aging like that $3 wine from Trader Joe’s

I read 'The Delights of Growing Old' by Maurice Goudeket Really?

The problem with wisdom is that it tends to come slowly, if it at all.

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. - A. Huxley

Why do ‘valuable’ and ‘invaluable’,  'flammable & inflammable' have same meanings but accurate/inaccurate, active/inactive etc .. have meanings you expect.  An invaluable insight.

In my experience consultants are like seagulls. They flap in, makes a lot of noise, sh*t over everything and leave.

Your memory is an unreliable narrator.

When you see something that is not right, not fair, not just .. say something! Do something! Get in trouble, good trouble, necessary trouble. - John Lewis

80% of the population consider themselves above average drivers.

If you drive or walk by a high school parking lot when classes let out, you are risking your life.

Lincoln’s personal secretary was named Kennedy.  Kennedy’s personal secretary was named Lincoln. They were both succeeded by a Johnson.

From 1840 to 1960 on 20 year intervals, the president elect died in office.  In 1980 Reagan survived a gunshot wound.

Long words are kind of fun. Sesquipedalian is a good one.

A politician is a person who must sacrifice their character in the service of power.  - Unknown

Life is so dear, I can’t imagine what we’ll do when it’s over.  - Garrison Keillor

When you pray, move your feet.  - John Lewis

Shutting down a nearly operational wind farm. Turning off climate monitoring satellites. These are crimes against humanity.

Who's idea is it to drop Russia monitoring efforts? 

How is receiving $15 donations a path to heaven?  I don’t think that’s a viable strategy.

.. the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.  - H.L. Mencken on Puritanism

Inconvenient facts on extremist killings. Anti-Defamation League report from 2015-2024 76% were right wing, 18% were Islamic, 4% were left wing. Cato Institute report politically motivated killings are 6 times greater by right wing vs left wing actors.

The Minnesota Strib's 2 PM content cutoff so the paper can be printed in Iowa means you get day-old news. The crossword is now perhaps the only reason to get the paper delivered.

Bravery is not absence of fear, it is conquering it.

Vaccines have saved millions of lives. Let us not return to the bad-old-days of polio, smallpox, measles & thousands of infant graves

I love the sea as long as I am sitting at the beach looking at it.

Every life is both ordinary and extraordinary. 

After dinner, sit a while. After supper, walk a mile.

Qatar purchased military commitments and a base in Idaho from USA for a used 747 and a golf course.  Prove me wrong.

Irony. The German government is lecturing the US on the dangers of right-wing extremism.

Disconnect. The stock market flourishes. The real economy tanks.

Injuries in sports are unavoidable. But in the WNBA, the targeted, tolerated aggressive play resulted in long absences of the biggest stars due to injury, the most recognizable faces of the league. Caitlin Clark, Paige Bueckers, Breanna Stewart, Sophie Cunningham, Napheesa Collier, Cameron Brink, Aaari McDonald, DiJonai Carrington, Courtney Vandersloot, Katie Lou Samuelson .. to name but a few.  It is destroying the hard-earned popularity of the sport. Protecting players from being mugged on the court seems like little to ask.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades

Copyright ©  2025  Dave Hoplin 

Better Angels

You might have heard a rumor that the good ol' USofA may be slipping into authoritarianism - one man dictator rule. 

In the recent past, there were 3 separate - and equal - branches of government. The legislature passed laws and controlled the power of the purse, the judiciary determined the legality of laws and actions, the executive administered the laws and managed foreign policy. Well .. where are we today? The legislature is essentially powerless, each side railing against the other and doing nothing except shutting down the government. The judiciary appears to be compliant lackeys to the wishes of the authoritarian. reversing long standing voting rights laws. And the executive has taken over the role of law making and law breaking through a deluge of executive orders amplified by the DOJ as a revenge machine. States are brazenly perverting elections with gerrymandered maps. Troops are walking the streets of our cities invoking images of Brown Shirts. 

This is not the first time power hungry sociopaths have popped up here and elsewhere. You don't have to go to Nazi Germany, Fascist Italy or Spain, Russia or China to find examples. The list of countries who have succumbed to dictatorship is very long indeed. Astonishingly, a median of 31% across 24 nations are supportive of authoritarian systems, according to a recent Pew Research Center survey.

In America, land of the free, Charles Coughlin, Huey Long, Joe McCarthy, George Lincoln Rockwell stood for anti-democratic values and their personality type and exorbitant egos are well documented - if not the means to rebuff them.  And throw in the KKK & John Birch Society for good measure.

American presidents have occasionally skirted into unconstitutional actions: Andrew Jackson (ethnic cleansing), Abraham Lincoln (Civil War suspension of Habeas Corpus), Franklin Roosevelt (Supreme Court packing), Lyndon Johnson (undeclared war), Richard Nixon (election fraud) and of course the current occupant. 

A recent Scientific American article examines "The Authoritarian Follower", those people who instinctively comply with a dictator.  Here's a quick summary.

Authoritarian followers share tendencies:

•  obedience to authority figures in their in-group (authoritarian submission)
•  punishment of breakers of their rules (authoritarian aggression)
•  rigid endorsement of long-held traditions (conventionalism)
•  opposition to equality

Authoritarian followers endorse a raft of anti-democratic prejudicial attitudes. To a large extent , they view the world as a dangerous and threatening place and feast on conspiracy theories, resulting in a willingness to accept actions that promise to suppress perceived threats and guarantee safety, even through extra-legal actions. The manipulative demonizing of the "other" successfully plays to these fears, which explains the prominence of the 'dangerous immigrants invading the country' story-line. 

What to do? You would think that increasing peoples' political knowledge, the values of tolerance and rule of law would be a logical step one. But ..  a study in the U.S. found that the relationship between authoritarianism and two core features of conservatism (opposition to equality and support for traditionalism) are stronger among those who are knowledgeable about politics.

On the other hand, a New Zealand study shows that the diversity of one’s neighborhood counters authoritarian thinking. Multicultural neighborhoods provide people with the chance to form close friendships with others from diverse backgrounds. In turn these experiences dispel worries that immigrants threaten deeply held cultural values or will take their jobs.

This needs to be understood. Outside the Civil War, there has never been a danger to American democracy like we are seeing today. But it takes the permission of Congress, Judiciary and ‘We the People’ for this to happen. The sad story is, if not directly impacted, ‘We the People’ seem to passively acquiesce. I am shocked at how fast and how easily this has happened and the whimpering weakness of opposition. Now is not the time to sit back and be silent. Hoping for the best is not an action plan.  

Somewhere along the way we have lost our better angels. We desperately need to rediscover them. As the historian Timothy Snyder has warned, “Most of the power of authoritarianism is freely given.”

Addendum:  Read David Brooks.  American Needs a Mass Movement - Now.

Copyright ©  2025  Dave Hoplin 

Should Auld Acquaintance

The high school years create a bond with a diverse set of people who share four years of emotional highs and lows, memories and regrets. If lucky, a few bonds remain strong throughout a lifetime while the weak get refreshed every ten years or so at the class reunion. 

My wife and I both graduated in the same class from a smallish Minnesota high school. 103 diplomas issued. And another dozen or so who either moved during the high school years or just dropped out. Like a small town, everyone knew everyone and no secret remained so for long. We of course partitioned ourselves into clans: geeks, jocks, motor-heads, music & theater wonks, wall flowers, populars and rebels ... but the clans did not have hard boundaries.  Everyone mostly got along. In contrast, a friend tells me of his high school where every 10 years they hold 2 reunions because of two organizing cliques, each refusing to attend if the other might show up. Hence double reunions. Never escaped junior high apparently.  

But stereotypes of early reunions carry water. They are indeed fraught with tension, tending to be all about making an impression and focused on how do I measure up? It is tempting to just skip until perhaps the 20th and avoid the stress. Some go to extremes. Rent that Cadillac. Flash some cash. The ugly duckling turned swan returns for revenge. 

But at some point, maybe by the 40th, we leave the obsessing behind and attend for the joy of it.  Most of us mellow and get nicer as we age. Those who do not rarely show up at reunions, so the gatherings become a celebration. We arrive in shorts, not in a suit or long dress. Genuineness prevails, with no pretensions, no hidden agendas, no argumentative chatter - just the pleasure of nostalgia exchanges with people with the same coming of age roots as you and listening to what people now find important. Interestingly, not a lot of career talk. A lot of grandkid talk. And we pause to remember the 20+ of us who have died.

There is no escaping change, not just our dispositions but appearances. A goodly number have to identify themselves to us and we quickly supply a name tag with their grad picture so they won't waste time repeating that awkwardness. We learn the star athlete has 6 replacement parts. Some lucky person has 16 grandchildren. Few admit to having a tattoo - something I accept with silent skepticism. Two people have shot a hole-in-one. (Many have come close)  At least one has tried acupuncture. At least one has written a book. At least one writes a blog. There are more widows than widowers. And a 60 year overdue thank you to a Good Samaritan finally surfaced. Several traveled more than 500 miles to be there. Many others expressed regrets at not being able to attend.  And we all have our basket of woes which we share minimally and reluctantly and do not dwell on them. Quite remarkable. I do not think the kindness was an act.

While most live in Minnesota, others comprise a wide diaspora - 14 states + England. But, 25% live within 20 miles of the high school.

Each of our reunions have been better than the previous. I await the 75th and I expect it will be heavenly. (Our foreign student promises to join us from Vienna for it.)

Family reunions on the other hand ...

Copyright ©  2025  Dave Hoplin 

 

It's Hard to Love a Gopher

Well, college football season is upon us and everyone is optimistic, demonstrating amazing abilities to ignore the past. 

I was badly spoiled in my youth.  My team, the Minnesota Gophers, went to the Rose Bowl consecutive years - '61 & '62 - and won once and were declared National Champs in the year they lost!. The baseball team won the College World Series 3 times - 3! - '56, '60, '64. The basketball team won the Big 10 title in '72 & '82. In my youthful naivety, I expected these kind of successes to continue and continue. I loved those teams  - Sandy Stephens, Bobby Bell, Carl Eller, Tom Brown, Dick Siebert, Dave Winfield, Terry Kunze, Lou Hudson, Archie Clark …  

But for the past 50 years, the Gophs have become harder to love. I own a ‘Disappointment Awaits’ T-shirt. It refers to Cape Disappointment, a notch near the mouth of the Columbia River where the Lewis & Clark expedition holed up for several days in the Dismal Nitch waiting out a severe storm.  It's my go to shirt when Minnesota football faces Michigan, Ohio State or Iowa and when the basketball completes its non-conference patsy schedule. Gopher Championships have been few and far between. And it is vexing to witness the disdain shown for a team whose mascot is a small, cute rodent. In North Dakota, when Minnesota Hockey visits, tossing dead rodents on the ice has become tradition. Several Big 10 teams have animals as mascots. However, a Badger, a Wolverine, a Hawkeye or a Wildcat present a fearsome image, whereas a cuddly Gopher, well ... Nevertheless, the Gopher is not the meekest mascot in the Big 10. That honor goes to the Buckeyes, a team named after a horse chestnut.

Attempting to remedy their image problem, the UofM powers that be decided to the tweak nickname to “Golden Gophers”. Not so sure that works. Perhaps Minnesota should mimic Maryland’s tongue in cheek “Fear the Turtle” motto.  e.g.  We Are Golden .. Eat My Dirt .. We Will Bury You.

I confess, even though mainly middle of the pack finishes seems destiny, I enjoy Minnesota Golden Gophers sports of all flavors. It's great entertainment. The enthusiasm of college athletes is a refreshing contrast to the routineness of the pro's. [See UofM post] 

And it's not all doom and gloom. The mens and womens hockey and track teams consistently contend and there is perennial excellence in women's volleyball and softball. But with the new era of NIL professionalization of college sports, it probably only gets harder for we middle-of-the-pack dwellers. I hate it. It's sports imitating life. The rich get richer. 

Here’s the scorecard.

• Football. 7 National Championships.  Last 1960. 18 Big 10 Championships. First 1904, latest 1967.  Long drought.  If you were alive in the Bernie Bierman era, of the 30's & 40's, you would be shocked.  My generation has gotten used to Mayonnaise Bowl appearances. Keep in mind, Minnesota has been in the Big 10 Conference since 1896.
• Baseball. 24 Big 10 Championships. Last 2018. National Champions in 1964 back when Dave Winfield was a 2 sport superstar. Nowadays,  Minnesota weather makes it hard to compete with southern schools.
• Men's Basketball. 8 Big 10 Championships. Last in 1982.
• Men's Golf.  8 Big 10 Championships. National Champions 2002
• Men's Gymnastics. 21 Big 10 Championships.  Last 1995
• Men's Swimming. 9 Big 10 Championships. Last 2007
• Men's Tennis. 15 Big 10 Championships. Last 2015
• Men's Track & Field. 7 Big 10 Championships. Last 2016. 1 National Championship 1948.
• Wrestling. 12 Big 10 Championships. 3 National Championships 2001, 2002, 2007.
• Men's Ice Hockey.  21 Conference Championships 5 National Championships!  Last being 2003

• Women's Basketball. 1 Big 10 Championship.  1982  1 Final Four appearance 2004.
• Women's Golf. 1 Big 10 Championship.  1989
• Women's Gymnastics.  5 Big 10 Championships. Last 2021
• Women's Ice Hockey. 8 Conference Championships. 7 National Championships. Wow. Last 2023
• Women's Soccer. 4 Big 10 Championships. Last 2018
• Women's Softball. 4 Big 10 Championships. Last 2018
• Women's Swimming. 7 Big 10 Championships. Last 2015
• Women's Track & Field. 3 Big 10 Championships. Last 2024
• Volleyball.  3 Big 10 Championships.  Last 2018
• Dance Team. 23 National Championships since 2003. Wow

This is probably our year,

Copyright ©  2025  Dave Hoplin