Tuesday, December 24, 2024

Christmas Controversy

I recently published a post about my beloved cousins, implying a harmonious and loving group of extended family.  This is most certainly true - almost.

There is one issue that divides us and like much in the country, the chance of reconciliation seems unlikely.  The acrimonious debate is about ... what to call this pastry, a staple of Grandma Esther's Christmas repertoire


Elephant Ears.  Elephant Tracks.  Elephant Feet.  ??

There are those who passionately argue that since they resemble tracks. QED.  But ... which would you rather put to your lips, something that brings forth an image of muddy elephant feet tromping through a swamp or a dusty desert caked with deposits?  Or, an image of light, flaky alliterative elephant ears flopping in the breeze?  [Google "elephant tracks", you will get images of elephant ears!]
 
I rest my case.  But in the interest of harmony, I will yield to the suggestion of my brilliant, ever peace-keeping cousin Rolf and forever more refer to them as

Ole Ears


Merry Christmas all

May all your disputes be as easily resolved as this 

Copyright ©  2024  Dave Hoplin

Friday, December 6, 2024

Deep Thoughts Vol 5


Lutheran hymnody rescues my soul.

Before you start on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.  Confucius

At the gates of heaven you are issued a harp. At the other place they you give you an accordion.

Jeopardy is getting increasingly more difficult for me with frequent categories like Pop Culture, Rap Music and Movies of the 20's (i.e. 2020's). Give me History, Baseball, Civil War and the Bible and I'm the second coming of Ken Jennings.

To those who claim to be a self-made man (or woman), I say hooey.

Nothing of me is original.  I am the combined effort of everyone I have ever known.  Chuck Palahnuik. 

I am part of everything I have read.  Theodore Roosevelt

George Will proposed to his bride at Camden Yards. "Hey, call me romantic, but I wanted Mari to know that in my heart she ranks right up there with baseball."

I would like to know what books you have read more than once.

A budget is a moral document.  Jim Wallis

Roughly 1 in a 100 Americans die each year. 

Minnesota is the heart-healthiest state. Mississippi the worst.

The 8th deadly sin is thinking there are only 7.

When betting sites own sports networks, you know we have descended well below decadence.

The tradition of families or friends going to restaurants for fellowship is dying. The "family" restaurant has priced itself into bankruptcy. I think the bars are doing just fine.

Take those Menards green cloth bags with you to haul your groceries home.

How much should you tip your plumber?

Perfect names for groups of things. A Murder of Crows; A Promise of Tomorrows; An Odium of Politicians; An Embarrassment of Idiots ...

What you think MCAD stands for depends on whether you are left brained or right brained.

The low-rider pants look is gaining popularity with aging boomer men. Not for style but unavoidable due to mid-section gravity.

First Amendment properly interpreted. Government should protect all religious rights without preferring a religion.

We eat Thanksgiving leftovers until Christmas and then Christmas leftovers until Epiphany. Then it's back to Halloween candy.

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Murphy's Law of Christmas Lights.  When one goes, they all go. WOGTAG

This winter 20°F has become the new 0°F for me.

Hundreds of thousands of people died during the pandemic because they viewed the virus as political.

I believe our education system is being reduced to the slowest common denominator

Window washing while old is hazardous.

Sparkling clean windows are overrated.

We have entered a post-irony age. Consider the incoming Cabinet.

When billionaires set tax and economic policy, Wall Street thrives and another chunk of the dwindling middle class falls below the poverty line.

"Trickle Down" economics should be renamed "Bubble Up".

Appropriately, the 2024 OED word of the year is: "Brain Rot". And you perhaps noticed, it's two words.

Some English words seem to have fallen out of favor:  triskaidekaphobia,  persnickety, forthwith, kerfuffle, crapulous. Some from the list deserve to be revived: copacetic, facetious, trumpery, grumpish, twattle, kittywampus, ethics.

"Later" may be the worst word in the English language.

When in doubt, mumble.

Sublime aphorisms are termed "pearls" of wisdom. These are more in the moonstone category.

Copyright ©  2024  Dave Hoplin

P.S. I appreciate your comments - and often well wishes - but they invariably come from the ubiquitous Greek Philosopher "Anonymous".  It is possible to identify yourself when commenting via the name drop-down menu - but to protect your privacy, perhaps just use your given name.