What I Learned During My Hospital Stay

Recently, I had the pleasure of an overnight stay at a 5 star facility.  And I am passing along some takeaways ...

Avoid them if you can, but know when to say when

No one sleeps in a hospital

A pinch of sugar under the tongue stops hiccups almost immediately. No one knows why.

Nurses run hospitals

Most nurses are kind and compassionate. Many are are saints. Some are former drill sergeants.

Surgeons don’t have time

Your well researched understanding of your condition and treatment is wrong

Recovery recapitulates surgery

Never come home with a “hospital” bacteria

A good phlebotomist is a treasure

Don’t eat the donut you dropped on the hospital floor

You must (try to) sleep on your back in a hospital bed but you can choose from an infinite number of slopes

It is impossible to remain decent in a hospital gown and they are impossible to tie

Just accept the endless indignities of a hospital stay

Only order the fruit cup or yogurt from the hospital cafeteria

Thank yous for care staff are a courtesies that go a long way toward a good stay

Small single room is superior to a large double room

Although most is incinerated, medical waste is a huge problem

Hospital staff shortages & staff burnout are a crisis

Nurses choose to work night shifts because day care is unaffordable

The amount of plastic used in a hospital is unbelievable

No one notices your walkabout pushing an IV tower (see indignities above)

Any attempt at smuggling in your prescriptions is doomed

Take the wheel chair ride to the entrance upon discharge

Have your spouse or a loved one open the bill when it arrives

Copyright ©  2023  Dave Hoplin

Not at my best