Polar Vortex

It looks like a bitter week here in Lake Wobegon. Oops, that's someone else's gig, but nevertheless, true.







It's all because of the polar vortex.  Polar Vortex.  What a great name. It conveys that sense of doom of a cold cyclone sweeping over you, sucking you down to the depths of -30°F.



The polar vortex is a low pressure system that circles the arctic during the winter.  It has fragmented rather than maintaining its tight counter-clockwise rotation. Normally, this tight rotation holds the drastic cold up there where it belongs. When the vortex warps, it pulls the frigid temps south, most commonly to Siberia but on occasion Minnesota falls into the cross-hairs.  So much for global warming, ay?  How wrong you are.  Always remember - weather is NOT climate.  Global warming produces more weather extremes, not just hotter hots like Australia is now experiencing but colder colds like what we in Minnesota are in for.

The warping of the vortex is caused by the warming of the arctic and the loss of ice from the region. The oceans warm and this warmth disrupts and weakens the low pressure vortex causing its dip bringing us temps that defy belief and inspiring glee from weather.com and grim hermit-like behavior from the normal rest of us.

It could be worse. I might live in Baudette.  By the way, these are actual air temps. If you throw in the 15-20 mph winds expected you get windchills in the -60's. Uffda.

Read about it in Scientific American.





Copyright © 2019 Dave Hoplin

Amygdala Hijack

In my work life, it was deadlines. Ah, deadlines. The sound of them whizzing by in the morning. Stress inducing.  And faced with stress, which of your multiple personalities comes to the fore:  your parasympathetic self or your evil amygdala? I suspect, more often than you wish, it's an "amygdala hijack" and the result is not pretty.

Tony Schwartz, in the Harvard Business Review, warns that you need to be aware when your amygdala is at work versus your prefrontal cortex. Your parasympathetic system presents as logical, reasoned, and objective, calmly discerning fact from fiction, considering evidence, and making a cool judgment. Your evil twin the amygdala thrusts you into hurried thinking, hasty decisions, and fight or flight responses. Your perceptions become myopic and emotional. It's called the Survival Zone and your prefrontal cortex shuts down.  Never been there?  You might have a career in motivational speaking - or sainthood.

The amygdala is of course a necessary part of your emotional makeup. It is there to detect and react to threats. Like the sabre-tooth tiger bearing down on you. But these kind of threats are now quite rare and unfortunately the amygdala cannot distinguish between life threatening situations and an insult - or an unrealistic deadline.

The Energy Project studies how you can move from the Survival Zone to the Performance Zone, where you are capable of being your best.  And their bottom line is - "Whatever you feel compelled to do, don't. Compulsions are not choices, and they rarely lead to positive outcomes."

Although it can feel cathartic to let my amygdala rule, I almost always regret it. When your time comes, count slowly to ten and consider Mark Twain's words: "Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured."

Would that our public figures could discover their parasympathetic side.

Copyright © 2019 Dave Hoplin

Philosopher for Hire

Aristotle rolling his eyes

It's hard to get a job as a philosopher these days. But it is the perfect profession for my retirement years. Sit around and think deep thoughts on the great questions and publish a tweet or a post on those thoughts - couple a year.  Truth, Beauty, Morality, Ethics, Spirituality .. and then a nice glass of hemlock in the evening.

There are of course university positions teaching philosophy, but they are simply rehashing hundred or thousand year old thinking.  I seek a job as a practicing, self-sufficient philosopher, like ... well, I can't think of anyone alive. Aristotle, Socrates, Plato, Kant, Thoreau, William James, Bertrand Russell, Soren Kierkegaard, ...  all gone. Caveat - Elizabeth Anderson is pretty good.

So who will break new ground on the great philosophic questions? Why are we here? What is the meaning of life? Is the universe real?  Is reality real? Do we really have free will? Can a human be objective? Is there universal basic morality? What is fact? ...

But before I take up that mantle, I've decided to pro bono address the "Tier 2 Great Questions", saving the "Great Questions" for a paying gig.

1. Over or Under?
Part 1: Definitely over unless you have a toddler or a cat. It is much easier to paddle down than up.
Part 2: The visual is gut-churning so suspenders seems the only plausible answer ... alternatively, buy a couple of those no-tuck-in shirts, XXL.

2. White or Brown?
Tradition says white. Contrarians say brown. But fundamentalists take their lefse with just butter. A lunatic group says fill it with lutefisk.  I am a traditionalist.

3. Pepperoni or Sausage?
Here I believe the biblical dietary laws serve us well, so veggie.

4. Tattoo or Piercing?
This is a test of your common sense.  In your twilight years, do you want to be sitting in the nursing home exposing your sagging butterfly or "I Love Linda" in a heart-arrow tattoo?  I think not.  Piercings are at least removable, but do please apply some common sense here as well. I hate that tooth clicking.

5. Red or Blue?
Empirical evidence personally gathered over many years shows that color has little or no effect on the flavor of M&M's.  So, pick 'em.

6. Parasympathetic vs. Amygdala?
While the amygdala is at rare times indispensable, you should always try to go with your parasympathetic side.

7. Hamburger or Hot Dog?
Hot dog, but only at a baseball game.

8. Ford or Chevy?
No way I'm getting involved in that blood sport.

9. Gene Kelley or Fred Astaire?
Who?

11. Baseball or Football?
See number 6.

Happy New Year

Copyright © 2019 Dave Hoplin