The Agony of Defeat

Chicago Cub fans have long been the poster children for the suffering sports fan. The Cubs won the 1907 World Series and repeated in 1908. They were looking like a dynasty with Three Finger Brown and the double-play combination of Tinker to Evers to Chance, immortalized by a Franklin Adams poem.  Actually, that infield was no better than any other but the 2-2-1 syllable mix rolls off the tongue and fits the poem's need. And Harry Steinfeldt became a trivia answer. Then, placed under "The Curse of the Billy Goat" by a fan ejected from Wrigley Field when he brought his pet goat to the stadium, the Cubs proceeded to lose 7 World Series over the course of 108 years, finally breaking the curse with a World Series win in 2016. Ironically, they defeated the Cleveland Indians who had last won in 1948. They are still waiting.

The Red Sox, a close second in woe to the Cubs, were the most successful team in the early years of the World Series play, winning 5 times between 1903 and 1918. But in 1919, the Red Sox sold the Babe to the Yankees and as a result played thereafter under the "Curse of the Bambino".  Ted Williams, perhaps the best hitter in baseball history, never got a ring. The curse was finally broken after 86 years in 2004, the Sox avenging their 1946 and 1967 losses to the Cardinals. To make matters worse, the fans were punished with agonizing season ending losses. Think Enos F Slaughter, Bucky F Dent and Billy F Buckner.

So who's next in line for the pity party. 

I would argue it's the Minnesota Sports Fan. We are rarely surprised  by joy. It would be nice to be on the front end of the Wide World of Sports slogan occasionally. 

Metropolitan Stadium

I am old enough to remember when the Washington Senators moved  in 1961 to Minnesota and Metropolitan Stadium with vaunted pinch hitter Elmer Valo and a bunch of other over-the-hill players. Met Stadium, built in Bloomington in 1956 had housed the Minneapolis Millers Triple A team, a farm team of the NY Giants. It looked like a steel mill. A deal was almost made to lure the Giants to Minnesota, but San Francisco offered a sweeter deal and we ended up with the lowly Senators. But with the coming of Killebrew, Allison, Oliva, Battey, Versailles, Kaat and Pascual, we witnessed a World Series in 1965.  

Unfortunately, the other side had Sandy Koufax & Don Drysdale.

1961 was also the inaugural season for Minnesota Vikings in that same Met Stadium, a season highlighted by a scrambling Fran Tarkenton engineered victory over the Chicago Bears in their inaugural game, however finishing out at 3-11. Bud Grant coached this team to 4 Super Bowls in the 70's, sadly finishing second in all four. And nothing but dashed hopes since then.

Hubert Humphrey Metrodome

In 1982, the Twins & Vikings moved downtown to the horrendous Hubert H Humphrey Metrodome, perhaps the worst baseball venue ever built - and not much better for football. But, finally, in 2010 the Twins got their own ballpark again, Target Field, still downtown but tucked into the Warehouse District, perhaps the finest fan-friendly ballpark in the majors.

Target Field

US Bank Stadium

The Vikings, of course, could not be slighted, so we tore down the Metrodome and put up a new Vikings stadium, a monument to Ziggy - US Bank Stadium - praised to the moon by football aficionados as the ultimate football palace. The Vikings had to play in the (new) Minnesota Gopher's TCF/Huntington Bank Stadium) for a couple years while construction went on. But the palatial digs have not improved outcomes.

Huntington Bank Stadium

Met Center

I can also remember when the NHL expanded to Minnesota in 1967 with the Minnesota North Stars and the new Met Center built in the Twins parking lot to house them. It looked to me like a Greek Temple compared to the Met. Minnesota legend Glenn Sonmor coached North Stars to second place in the Stanley Cup finals of 1981and they had the same runner-up result in 1991. Nothing since. 

The North Stars were spirted away to Dallas by Norm Green in 1993. Never liked that guy. And ..  Dallas Stars - really?

Xcel Energy Center

But we did get the Minnesota Wild in 1997 - and another new arena, the Xcel Energy Center in St. Paul.  But 3 years without NHL - in Minnesota?  Someone should be fired. But on the other hand the Wild haven’t had a Stanley Cup sniff in 27 years,

Target Center

The NBA expanded to include the Minnesota Timberwolves in 1989 and their spanking new Target Center Arena - of late declared antiquated I hear. Another build it or I will leave situation I suspect. I also remember the ABA Pipers and the Muskies.  TWolves - 35 years - no titles.

Allianz Field

And the Kicks, Thunder and now Loons in soccer now in the spanking new Allianz Field. No titles.

And, at last, it is with great appreciation, and a joy to be a fan, I welcome women's pro-sports, the Lynx in 1998 and the Frost in 2024.  Our great success stories. We've expended a good deal of coin on stadiums over the years, but at least the addition of women's pro teams was with no stadium construction costs - the Lynx and Frost are willing to play in previously men-only venues. (See Target Center & Xcel Energy Center above)

So, I submit that Minnesota sports franchises have offered the most agony of defeat to their fans of any city, surpassed only by the aforementioned Cubs & Sox folks. (Cleveland may file a protest)

To wit, here's our return on investment: 

• Minnesota Vikings.  In 63 years, 4 Super Bowl appearances, all in the 70's,  all losses, the last 47 years ago. 
• Minnesota North Stars / Minnesota Wild.  In 57 years, advancing to the Stanley Cup finals twice. Lost both.
• Minnesota Timberwolves.  In 35 years, never a NBA finals appearance.  For those old enough, you will remember Minneapolis had a dominant NBA team, the Minneapolis Lakers in the 40's & 50's, winning 5 titles before Bob Short moved them to LA in 1960. (Yes, the Los Angeles Lakers - did you think a LA team would get a nickname like "Lakers" if it weren't inherited?) The Minneapolis Lakers had no arena of their own, rather played in the Minneapolis Armory and Minneapolis Convention Center bandboxes which probably made a move inevitable
• Minnesota Twins. In 63 years, 2 World Series rings. The last 33 years ago. And before that, as the Washington Senators, 1 World series win in 58 years, acquiring the moniker "First in war, first in peace and last in the American League."
• Minnesota Kicks / Thunder / Loons. Nada.  However, we did get another stadium built. Allianz Field.

But .. all this woe has been somewhat mitigated by great successes from the women's teams.

• Minnesota Lynx.  Our greatest success story ... 8 WNBA finals appearances and 4 titles in 25 years
• Minnesota Frost.  PWHL championship in the first season of the league's existence

Just for the record, here are the stadium outlays over the years:

You should check my math, but that's approximately $2.5 billion worth of stadium over the years.  Costs a lot not to be a cold Omaha. 

You of course realize that investing too much of your emotional capital in your favorite sports team is a prescription for unhappiness. So enjoy the game for the entertainment that it is. There are 30 MLB teams, 32 NBA teams, 32 NFL teams and  32 NHL teams. All but 1 in each league will be disappointed losers each year. All things being equal - which they are not - you have a 3% chance for the thrill of victory. It is only a game after all.  And, please, please avoid the lure of Fanduel et al which offers you a 100% chance of woe, not just emotional.

... I didn't get to the University of Minnesota Golden Gophers saga. Perhaps we save that for another day.

Have you ever wondered why all our teams are Minnesota <this or that>?  Me neither.

Copyright ©  2025  Dave Hoplin

How Can I Keep From Singing

My life flows on in endless song,

above earth’s lamentation.

I catch the sweet, though far-off hymn

that hails a new creation.

                                                           Robert Lowry

Most of my writings about myself hearken back to my childhood days in Lowry.  But life after Lowry started when I went off to college in the turbulent late 60's, a time familiar to some of you with still functioning long term memories. I matriculated into Augsburg with the optimism of the typical 18 year old and envisioned a direct, unhindered path to my life's goals - as if I had those figured out. But, as everyone discovers, life’s actual path is steeped in twists and turns.

In 1965, Augsburg tuition, room & board was $1600/year. Perhaps due to multiple family alumni, Augsburg granted me a $400/year scholarship, which if you can do the math, left a $1200/year gap.  

My folks would cover the gap, but I felt duty bound to contribute. Luckily, I was able to work for my father in his plumbing, heating & electrical business during the summer. I was paid minimum wage, $1.25/hr, substantially more than I was worth. After tax take home was roughly $200/month. As I was living at home my expenses were mostly stamps for letters to my beloved who went off to the west coast.  But the 3 months summer work still left a $600 gap.

I did some part-time "roadie crew" work with the college event setup crew, which didn't earn enough to cover the debt, so the next summer I took a job with Continental Baking Company, pedaling my bike to downtown Mpls and assembly-line production of Hostess products - twinkies, cupcakes, snowballs ...  [Be forwarned: If have any intent to ever again eat a Hostess product, refrain from reading that post.]   I doubled my previous summer earnings but expenses whittled it back to zero financial gain.  

The next year, sick of the greasy duds and slimy shoes from that assembly line bakery, I took a job in the Fairview Hospital laundry, walking distance from Augsburg.  [Read that account it you are ever tempted to drop out of school]

Upon my graduation, we moved to the farm for the summer (to be clear, we were married by then) and I had decided grad school was the next step on the journey, so in the fall we went off to Bozeman, Montana. Of course, that reopened the funding gap. I was able to get a standard slave labor grad student teaching assistant position that covered books & tuition and a little coffee money. Carol went to work for the local ophthalmologist, so we managed to live frugally but debt free. 

After spring quarter, I couldn't get classes I needed during that first summer, so I took a 3 month job with the MSU's Plant & Soil Science Department. [Read Last Bus to Conrad for the story of that fiasco.]  That helped a bit with the expenses but the birth of our son put us back on the brink. 

Finally, advanced degree in hand I sat back and awaited the teaching offers from colleges to roll in. And waited, and waited ...  Perhaps from desperation but also from curiosity and a yen for adventure, we took a teaching job in Hamburg, West Germany. [Read about this adventure in  Brain Drain.]  Advice: you should only do such things when you are young, foolish and feeling invincible.

A year teaching in Hamburg convinced me to continue to teach, preferably auf Englisch, so back to the USA and another income-expense gap to manage. First for coursework at U of M, Morris to get Minnesota teacher certification. [Read Thistledew story.]  And then 7 years before a chalkboard (a story for another time) before a move to the software world for 35 years with Control Data; Honeywell; 2 startups - the 2nd acquired by PTC. [Read about the backend of those stints in A Tale of Two Startups.]  

I have now been retired for roughly 10 years and as a wise man said, 'He has had a happy life - which doesn't make for good stories.  What better way to reflect on gratitude than a hymn by a man named Lowry.  

As ear worms go, this one isn't bad.

1. Through all the tumult and the strife,
   I hear that music ringing;
   It finds an echo in my soul—
   How can I keep from singing?

Copyright ©  2025  Dave Hoplin

Last Bus to Conrad

MSU

When I was a grad student at Montana State University and unable to get classes I needed in the summer session, I took a summer job with the school's Plant & Soil Science Department. The department was researching different varieties of winter wheat to see which best tolerated the Montana winters. Small plots of different varieties of wheat were planted and harvested and the kernels from each head of harvested wheat were rolled out by hand. The number of kernels were counted and carefully recorded to get the precise yield down to the kernel. 

Gallatin Valley

Most of the wheat plots were in Bozeman's Gallatin Valley, but one was near Conrad, north of Great Falls, near the Canadian border. Due to my maturity! i.e. married, I was the student hire chosen to accompany one of the professors on the 2 day trip to harvest that crop. 

The harvesting was done 'by hand' with the aid of small mini-reaper similar to the one the one pictured - only think smaller, more antique, a non-OSHA, finger hazardous, walk-behind version which required a 2nd person to walk alongside to bundle the cut stalks of wheat. Sort of an overgrown garden tiller with exposed flashing blades and a catch basket.

We left Bozeman in the early morning and arrived in the Conrad region in the afternoon and went to work. We had gathered several dozen bundles and I thought it likely we could finish and head back the same day.  But, when nearly done, for some reason, the prof decided we would should pack up and come back in the morning to finish and then head back to Bozeman. My argument to finish up was rebuffed. 

Conrad

Turns out the prof was an alcoholic so when we got back to Conrad and a hotel, we checked in and he disappeared. The next morning early, I had breakfast and was waiting in the lobby for him to come down. And waiting … No response to a knock at his room, so I became suspicious. I went searching the few Conrad "eating" establishments looking for him and eventually wandered back to the hotel lobby where he suddenly appeared, tumbling down the stairs, landing on his head, opening a gash in his skull. I managed to get the truck keys from him, load him into the passenger seat, got directions to the hospital where he was admitted for stitches and a concussion. The nurse asked if he had been drinking. Frustrated, I replied: "Does a chicken have lips?". 

I called the MSU department head and explained the situation and that he had a drunken prof in his employ - something he already knew but had neglected to clue me into. He said he would call the hospital and talk to his family. He asked that I retrieve the wheat that we had harvested and drive the 250 miles back to Bozeman. By now it was mid-afternoon. My predicament. Where the H was that wheat plot? I think it must have been divine guidance as I somehow managed to find that plot out in the Montana prairie. I decided harvesting the remaining wheat by myself was hopeless and so I made the executive decision that there were enough bundles for valid results - so I left the small amount of unharvested wheat for the crows. Getting the reaper, a heavy, cumbersome contraption, loaded into the pickup bed was the next challenge. But I finally managed to get the machine and the wheat bundles all loaded and tarped. I then faced another predicament. Where is the road home? i.e. where the H was Interstate #15?  I decided to just to just drive south on country roads, look for blue signs and hope for the best.  No cell phones or GPS of course.

I arrived back in Bozeman in the deep dark, exhausted, wishing I still had my old undergrad Twinkie harvesting job.  

Copyright ©  2025  Dave Hoplin