I don't do New Year's Resolutions. They are hazardous to your mental health. Just signing up for something you know will fail indicates irrational thinking and then when the predictable happens, you fall into depression over what you knew would happen from the get go. And then next year you do it all over again. There's a word for that kind of behavior.
Instead, I record "Deep Thoughts". You know Jack Handey-like, without the schmalzy music.
2021
Buy clothes that are too large. They offer freedom of movement and are cost saving in the long term
People tend to lose interest in their health in the winter & send regrets come spring
I’m convinced each gray hair preserves a memory. Not sure where bald guys keep theirs.
Agility. The test of whether you have lost it is when you attempt to get your leg in your underwear.
It’s easier to go through life with someone you love
Tell people what to think. Otherwise someone else will
The places you remember from your youth are no longer there
Days go slow but weeks go fast during a plague.
If you are good at procrastinating, you don't need to be good at anything else.
I refuse to join any organization that would have me as a member (borrowed from Mark Twain)
It's a lot easier to realize your zipper is down in the winter.
You can be fined for smoking inside and for drinking outside so you shouldn't do both at the same time.
Everyone has an expression they use overmuch in their speech. I hope yours is not “like” or “at the end of the day”. If your phrase is “in truth”, I will run for cover.
Wash your feet before bed and wear clean underwear in case you're transported by ambulance (channeling my mother).
If you encounter a man in deep contemplation, chances are he's not thinking of anything.
Life is easier if you want what you have.
The top bit the toothpaste tube lasts 10 times that of the rest.
Idiocy is contagious.
I am told I look like my father. Unfortunately no one said that when he was young and handsome.
Do you ever look at the list of today's famous birthdays and wonder what rabbit hole you've been down?
A good walk cures boredom.
The best way out is through. (borrowed from Robert Frost)
Copyright ©
Dave Hoplin
